three things: marriage edition

March 12, 2010 / emmykay / 4 Comments

I was just thinking today, outloud, about how far Frank and I have come since we were first married.

I’ve only really witnessed a few marriages up close and personal – my parents and my maternal grand parents.

And both were marriages were/are very fiery, passionate, yet humorous, pairings.

I guess they raised my tolerance level for my own marriage. Which is good because, man, Frank really tested my limits.

And from time to time, I tested his…

Here are three things about our marriage:

Example 1. The Shower.

When Frank and I were first married, he liked to test the boundaries (many of you who know me in real life know these stories – so you can feel free to skip ahead).

Frank thought it was quite novel that now that we were married, it was for LIFE. And he liked to see exactly how long I would let him live.

His first test of the longevity of our union was simple: pour cold water on me over the top of the shower. Awe-some.

Unfortunately for him, I got wise and I could hear him running the water in the kitchen and yell at him pre-emptively.

When that got old (which was rather quickly), he decided to go for the grand-daddy of all shower pranks: he threw cold water over the top, flushed the toilet and turned off the lights.

And he’s still alive today.

Example 2. The Bugs.

When I am stressed out, I dream about weird things. When we were first married, I had a very stressful job and we had a bug infestation. Specifically, the bug infestation was a colony of earwigs. You know, the ugly bugs with pinchers on them? In one night, Frank killed 19 of them in our master bedroom.

It was nasty.

As a result, I would dream about bugs crawling on me and I would wake up at 4 a.m., turn on all the lights in our room and pull back the covers.

Thankfully, the only thing I found in the bed was a very confused husband staring back at me.

One night, as we were falling asleep, Frank gently brushed my leg with his finger, mimicking the sensation of a bug crawling on my thigh.

Squealing, I jumped out of bed, turned on the lights and pulled back the covers. Frank grinned back at me, proud of his accomplishment.

“FINE!” I said, snatching my pillow off of the bed. “I will sleep on the COUCH!”

Sidebar: If you know nothing about Frank, you should just know that he HATES being startled, especially by people jumping out at him. Continuing on with the story…

As I stormed down the hall, Frank realized that he went too far and followed me out to the family room.

What he didn’t know is that I ducked into the laundry room.

As he passed the dark laundry room on his way to the also dark family room, I jumped out at him, yelling.

Frank screamed. I smiled. We both went back to bed and eventually fell asleep.

Example 3. The Penny.

There are a few things that happen in our marriage that Frank and I are fully aware of, but we don’t say anything about them. I can’t tell you about the most current examples of this because, well, Frank reads this blog and it would break the code of silence prematurely.

When we were first married, there was a penny on the floor of the kitchen. I’m not sure how it got there, but when I noticed it I wondered if Frank would pick it up.

And Frank wondered if I would pick it up.

For months, we walked around this penny in the kitchen. I even washed the floors around the penny.

We said not a word to each other about the penny.

One day Frank’s mom was visiting and she saw the penny and bent down to pick it up -but I stopped her.

“Oh, no, go ahead and leave that penny there. I’m waiting to see if Frank will pick it up,” I explained.

She sort of cocked her head to one side and looked at me, puzzled.

She still does that. Our marriage often causes people to pause and wonder.

And I don’t blame them.

things i think about

January 24, 2010 / emmykay / 1 Comment

for real.

1) I plan things in my head all the time. I’ve been thinking about how to arrange our living room for a long time now. I’m thinking a sectional sofa is in our future to maximize the space. I’ve also been working on my kitchen in my head too.

2) What did Jesus REALLY look like. Like, was he short? Tall? Did he have acne as a teenager?

3) How in the world did people know to put eggs in with flour and sugar to make cake?? Like, was someone standing around with an egg and a bag of flour and they thought, “Well, I like eggs and I like flour… I wonder if they like eachother??” And how about cheese? Who said, “No, no, let that pail of milk stand for a while until it becomes thick and delicious – then we can put it in a can and spray it on crackers and call it Cheez Whiz.” Amazing.

4) What would cars look like if we didn’t have the horse and buggy first? I mean, is it that intuitive to put the engine in the front? Would it be better to put the engine in the back?

5) What is the origin of kissing? What made us humans think “You know, I saw Frank eat all of that food and he seemed to be pretty happy about putting that in his mouth – I think I’d like to kiss him to see what that’s all about.” I’m not saying that I don’t LOVE smooching (cuz I LOVE smooching), I’m just saying, why didn’t humans say, “Hey, why not fist bump?”

6) When the fuel light comes on in my car, how far can I really go? I’ve gone about 20 miles before after getting the light, but I’m never sure if the fuel light really means it. When I accelerate, sometimes the light goes off. Is that my cars way of saying, “Peddle to the metal, Em! Let’s go!”

7) When I’m driving on the highway, I mentally zoom out so that I can “see” my car cruising down the road from the air. Then I zoom out more, and I can see my car tracing the curve of the Earth. It makes me feel small.

That’s all for now. I know, I ended with 7. Who does a top 7 list? I do.

I wonder why…

2009 review

December 30, 2009 / emmykay / 2 Comments

This year was dominated by a few themes:

Old Made New Again

This theme happened in several ways. We moved back to Illinois in 2008, not sure what it would really be like. What has happened is that many of our friendships that were old have become new again. There are so many examples of this regeneration, but specifically I think of one of my longest friendships with Miss Allison Claire. When we were little, we played together nearly every day. There was a rule established that we couldn’t call or go over to each other’s homes before 9 a.m. – and this was established to save our mothers from losing their minds! As we got older, we went separate ways and our friendship was basically on life support because we rarely saw each other. Since we’ve moved back, Allison and I see each other nearly every week! She is truly a joy to spend time with and one of the most positive people I know. I experienced similar rebirths with other friends – and it is awesome! I feel surrounded by wonderful women that I love. It is awesome!

But this theme didn’t just end with friendships, it also carried on to one of the most important relationships in my life – my marriage. Frank and I celebrated our 6th year of marriage. At a time when many marriages start feeling stale, our marriage is still fresh and interesting. One of the pastors at church said the other week, “Presumed familiarity breeds unfamiliarity” – so true! Even though Frank and I know each other so well, we keep learning new things about each other – and with each other. Sure, it hasn’t all been rosy this year, but that’s ok.

Being Humbled

This year has also been the year of being humbled. Yeah, I’ve had to swallow my pride on a few fronts. Medically speaking, I’ve been exposed in just about every way possible. Blood draws, invasive ultra-sounds and interesting procedures involving catheters. That’s pretty humbling.

It’s also been humbling because we’ve come face to face with some of our biggest fears and had to ask for help along the way. We’ve had to acknowledge that many of the things we experienced were outside of our control – like Frank’s work schedule and our infertility issues. While we’ve known logically for quite some time that God is bigger than us, these situations have caused us to come face-to-face with our own limitations and humanity. Or something like that. The point is, we continue to be reminded that while there are a great many things we can do, we are ultimately not the ones in control. We are small while God is great.

Ha ha ha

We’ve also been blessed with lots of joy in the midst of crazy times. Tonight as I finished writing this, Frank was sitting next to me and every time I took a sip of the Diet Pomegranate 7-Up, Frank made slurping sounds trying to get me to spit out my drink. The result was that he made himself laugh so much he couldn’t even drink. Special times, for sure. And if we can laugh in the midst of all the stuff we’re going through, that is truly a blessing.

With almost 24 hours left in 2009, it is impossible not to recognize the amazing blessings we’ve had this year: jobs, shelter, family, and friends. I’m excited to move forward into 2010 and to see all of the new things God has in store for us. I wish you all a very safe and happy new year!

See you on the flip side…

loopholes

August 30, 2009 / emmykay / 5 Comments

We’re at the part of our regularly scheduled program where I start looking for loopholes.

Well, maybe not actively looking for loopholes, but today I thought one fell into my lap. At church, Pastor Darren Whitehead talked about Matthew 7:7 – “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened to you.”

My ears perked up. If asking was all it took then, man, I’ve been asking for a while. Maybe I just need to remind God of what I want. Maybe he just hasn’t heard what I was saying. Maybe if I just reminded him of this verse, He’d say, “Oh, ok, that’s right, you got me, here you go!”

As with everything in life, context is just as important as content.

Matthew goes on to say, “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! ”

Parents do not seek to torment their children (well, bad jokes and green beans aside). Matthew is right – parents do not substitute horrible things for healthy things simply to do harm to their children. A rock instead of bread? A snake instead of fish? What loving parent does that to their child?

Because God is my Father, then surely when I have asked him for a child, He is not substituting it with an empty womb just for jollies. As a matter of fact, the last line of that scripture says that God our Father is even MORE generous than our earthly fathers.

So I come to a familiar place in my walk with God. I am faced with two opposing ideas: either God is who He says He is and I am wrong, or God is NOT who He says He is and I am right. In this particular case, the two options I was weighing were Option 1: God must not be a very good Heavenly Father OR Option 2: my brain cannot fathom the generosity of God.

Considering that so many things in my life bear witness to the great goodness of God and there is a 2,000+ year old book testifying to the grace and goodness of God, I have to say that Option 1 is not possible. While I’d love to recount for you the many times I didn’t get what I wanted, each of those times is perfectly balanced with God providing something that I hadn’t considered – and it was infinitely better than what I thought I wanted. And sometimes I didn’t get what I wanted just because it wasn’t good for me. Like chocolate cake for breakfast. Mmm.

Pastor Darren told a story about taking his 3 year old daughter to an apple orchard. She immediately ran to the apples in the grass and picked them up and tried to eat them. But the apples on the ground were rotten and wormy, and Pastor Darren took those apples away from her. He lifted her up and showed her the fresh, ripe apples in the tree that were infinitely better than the rotting ones on the ground.

So often I forget to lift my eyes and see the better fruit that God has for me. I am so focused on wanting an apple, I don’t consider anything else and run to the first rotting apples I see. And that helped me see that Option 2 is the accurate view.

But the problem with Option 2 is that I want children so badly that it can be so hard to realize that God has a bigger vision for my life, a better view and a greater story to tell. “What can be bigger, better, or even greater than having kids?” demands my temper tantrum throwing little self.

That just tells you how short-sighted and selfish I can be.

And the loophole closes.

vegas

August 24, 2009 / emmykay / 1 Comment

We interrupt our regularly scheduled emotional roller coaster for a brief recap of our adventures in Vegas.

Day 1:

My mom arrived at 6:15 a.m. to take me to the airport. She’s a peach. She watched me give myself my trigger shot and then helped me wipe off the dripping blood and gently confirmed that I gave myself the shot in the vein and “man, it’s already bruising!” Awesome. Uneventful (blood-free) time at the airport. Had a snack. Got on the plane. Mechanical issue. Lovely. Had some soda (delish). Arrived in Vegas.

First of all, Vegas wants your money. If you didn’t know that about Vegas, they make it apparent the minute you step off of the plane. “Emmmmily – oh, Emmmmmily! Come play our slots! Your bags are going to take a while – have a seat, get out some quarters and let the good times roll!”

My will power was too much for them. I walked past the slot machines with hardly a backward glance. Hardly.

I picked up my bags at the carousel, called Frank and got on a shuttle to the Bellagio. Arrived at the Bellagio, found husband, changed, went on a mission for food. Emily was VERY hungry. Mmmm.

Then we proceeded to walk most of the strip, all the way up to the Venetian. This is one place where one block of walking equals 12 blocks.

We saw 10,234 slot machines on our little adventure.

The below picture is us being awesome at the Venetian.

The nice thing about the Venetian: indoors and air conditioned. Dry heat is still heat, my friends. Don’t give me crap about dry heat when it is 105 degrees outside. Heat is heat.

I was glowing (or perspiring like a mo-fo).

After our sweaty trek, we went back to the hotel and got ready for dinner. Because we are connoisseurs of the buffet, we were naturally looking forward to tables and tables of meat and cheese and other delightful confections. First stop: the Wynn Buffet.

This picture is me trying not to be too obvious about how hungry I am. This is at the atrium of the Wynn hotel. It was my favorite hotel in Vegas, hands down.

And this picture, well, this is me preparing to eat my husband for dinner. And I don’t mean it like that. Well, maybe I do. You tell me: is this a “come hither” look or is it a “I want my dinner” look?

Finally, after 45 minutes of hoping and dreaming and praying that we would one day be at the front of the line – we were! Eureka!

Our delight over our first meal resulted in two of the only food photos of the trip, but I am not going to post those here. I don’t want anyone to be jealous (and also, Frank didn’t upload them to our Flickr account – dirty!!)

Then we walked back from the Wynn and decided to try to take in a very scandelous free show outside of Treasure Island. Lots of gyrating female and male dancers in skimpy clothing. Good thing people brought their kids. “Hey kids, look what you can be when you grow up!” Awesome.

Anyway – here is me outside of the Wynn. Love. It.

And ladies, don’t get jealous – he is all mine:

Then we stopped at the Bellagio to take in the famous fountain display. For a desert, that sure was a lot of water.

And then… bed time. Cuz we party like rockstars, yo.

Day 2:

Got up, tried to go for a run. While Vegas is a town that accepts only beautiful people (naturally attained or otherwise), they sure don’t want to do a lot to help you get beautiful. Because when you are running on a treadmill, you can’t play the slots. And if you are not drinking or gambling, they are not making money.

What I am trying to say is that the fine folks at the Bellagio wanted us to pay $50 for both of us to use their fine workout facilities.

No. Thanks.

Instead, I opted to sit at the pool and consider life. And read a saucy romance novel.

And here we are together, hanging out by the pool. Frank is trying not to angry about the lack of frosty beverages in his hand.

Once we were finished with being awesome poolside, we decided to enjoy yet another buffet. Mmmm.

And then we walked the strip. In the Dry Heat. Not so dry when you’re sweating through your socks, though.

Which leads us to Caesar’s Palace. “Caesar, let’s go that way!” “No, Frank and Emily, let’s go THAT way!” Well, the Roman empire is no more, so I guess we all know how it turned out. Should have listened to us, Mr. Caesar.

Frank asked the Egyptian Santa for a flat screen TV for Christmas. We will see if Egyptian Santa delivers. (I’m not betting on it – he looked a little shady)

And then, in the middle of the desert, we have the NYC skyline:

Later that night, after I showered (again), we went out to the Palms. The Palms was very cool. We went up to the Playboy Club (which was more tame (visually speaking) than any of the casino bars, by far) and had a cocktail. Then we headed over to the other tower of the Palms and went up to the Ghostbar, which was Frank’s favorite bar of all. He was giddy with excitement. Giddy. I’m not kidding. Have you ever seen Frank giddy? Well, I have. This is what it looks like:

I know. I wish he’d just calm down.
And here are more pics of Vegas from that night:

Day 3
The Grandest Canyon of them all. And probably the best day of our trip. I loved, loved, loved it. Except for the part where I almost puked. And the part where we got stuck in the rain. But whatever – a small price to pay, in my opinion. I’d do it all over again (but with an umbrella).

Our airplane:

The Hoover Dam (ha ha):

A view from the ground:

“Emily, look off into the distance at the other side of the Grand Canyon, really feel it. Work it. Noice.”

We were RIGHT. THERE. We were here, and the Grand Canyon was right THERE. Whoa.

Oh, and then it rained.

But the storms made for some cool views on the way back.

Tired, mostly dry (but a little wet), we made our way back to our hotel.

Because seeing one of the most magnificient wonders of God’s creation wasn’t enough for one day, we also went to see Cirque du Soleil’s “O”. “O” is the phonetic speaking of the french word “Eau” which means “water.” (Not sure why I used all the quotes, but really – if you stayed with me this long, you probably don’t care. You probably just want me to end this torturous play-by-play of our vacation and put you out of your misery. Quotes are the least of your problems if you made it this far.) Anyway, the point being, the stage was water. Or, more accurately, it was a pool with an adjustable floor that went up and down depending on the scene.

“O” reminded me of two things: 1) I am not flexible. The most daring feat I accomplish is touching my toes. Touching my toes while balancing on the forehead of a woman who is balancing all of her weight on her big toe, which is securely placed on a trapeze – well, that’s why they made the Darwin Awards. 2) I am a spoiled brat. After the first two amazing sequences where people were swinging through the air, attached to another human being by only the friction created by their leg hair and their abnormally strong big toes, I started to be less impressed with, say, diving off of a several story platform, into a pool of water. I can barely bring myself to jump into a pool from the side, much less a diving board SEVERAL stories in the air.

My own personal guilt aside, it was a beautiful show. I really enjoyed it.

Day 4:

Went home.

***

And I’m spent. Thanks for reading about our Vegas adventure!

in just about one month…

August 10, 2009September 11, 2010 / emmykay / 3 Comments

we will celebrate our six year wedding anniversary.

SIX. YEARS.

our first kiss as husband and wife

It’s at this point I’d like to just point out we were 16 when we got married.

Ahem.

So six years ago, Frank was texting me, telling me that he broke his arm (he didn’t) and that he would need a cast (he didn’t). And I was thinking, “Crud, he’s going to have to hide his arm in all of our wedding photos.” Good thing that Frank was just playing a joke (good thing…).

And we were having our bridal showers and final dress fittings and getting our marriage license.

It was such a rich, vibrant time in my life – but also fast and busy. So many things in my life were changing at break-neck speeds, it was hard to keep things organized. And often we didn’t keep things organized.

In the midst of Frank and I starting our new life together, my grandfather passed away. My grandfather gave me a great appreciation for strong male personalities. I find myself drawn to men with bigger-than-life-personalities and even larger opinions. Meanwhile, my dad’s strong, but very diplomatic and wise personality was a nice balance for my grandfather’s influence. In many ways, Frank is the perfect blend of the two men.

While my parents’ marriage is it’s own great love story, and I love it, my grandparent’s love story was legendary.

They met when Nani was 11 and Papa was 14. Papa’s mom made him share part of his candy bar with Nani. Knowing Papa’s sweet tooth, this was no small sacrifice.

When Papa was a teenager, he went off to fight in World War II. He didn’t speak much of his time there, but when he did, he was very emotional. When he came home, he went to a New Year’s Eve party and Nani was there. Nani was a model and I always imagined that there was a halo of perfect lighting wherever she went. That night, several young men were vying for her attention and it wasn’t until midnight that my grandfather finally won the battle for Nani. He wasted no time – that night they set a date for their wedding and they were married on June 12 of that new year. (6 month long engagements are genetic, I guess)

Their love affair never faded. Vibrant, passionate – their love affair simply evolved and grew over the years. They loved to have a good time, throw a big party, surround themselves with friends and family. As a little girl, I remember catching them smooching in the kitchen and holding hands. It always seemed fresh and sweet.

They argued, absolutely. I don’t know any couples that don’t argue.

On June 12th, 2003, they celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary. I was in another room while they ate breakfast together and heard Nani say to Papa, “How did you love me all of these years?” And he answered back simply and plainly, “Because I just do.”

Less than a month later, Papa passed away in his sleep. I had dreaded that moment for years and years prior to it actually happening. As a little girl, when I became aware of their intensity for each other and then became aware of death, I always hoped that they would die together so that they wouldn’t have to know any days separated from one another. I know that sounds horrible, but it’s true. They were each other’s entire world, and when Papa passed away, Nani’s heart was totally broken.

She made it another three years and just around Valentine’s Day, she passed away. I suppose, as my Uncle Steve pointed out, it was only fitting.

And so what does their love story have to do with Frank’s and my love story? Oh, many things I believe. They made a decision, every day, to love one another. They managed to do what so many others fail to do: turn around previous generations’ issues of alcoholism and infidelity. Their love was powerful enough to clean the slate of what they inherited from their families so that their children wouldn’t grow up in a broken home. They taught my mom what to look for in a mate and she, in turn, passed that along to me.

It wasn’t perfectly executed, but it was love.

In the midst of Frank and I planning our wedding, we stopped to remember Papa and Nani’s marriage and love story when Papa passed away.

My father-in-law likes to talk about the giants in our lives. The people who came before us, on whose shoulders we stand. The people who taught us to love big or go home. The people who courageously, bravely, and selflessly made daily sacrifices because they thought more of their legacy and future generations, than of themselves.

Frank and I have been married for almost six years. We faced some difficult challenges together. We enjoyed some of the sweetest times. We argue and snuggle – often within the same 15 minutes.

Frank is an amazing husband. He is kind to me when I am upset. He is gentle, even when I am fiery. He is strong when I crumble. He is generously affectionate, even when I make myself busy to enjoy it. He is wise and seeks to be wiser. He is a great leader, yet he often just walks alongside me. He is my favorite person, my best friend, and my lover.

Six down, forty-four to go. I hope we leave the kind of legacy in the lives of our family and friends that would make God and the giants proud.

This much, always.

last day in the ad agency world

August 5, 2009 / emmykay / 3 Comments

Today is it – my last day at an ad agency. When I was in college, I dreamed of being at an ad agency. I thought there would be nothing cooler. I have been privileged to work at ad agencies for the past 7 years of my life. I’ve loved it. I’ve hated it. I’ve met some of the coolest people I’ve ever known. I’ve met some characters. I’ve had clients call me screaming (and swearing). I’ve had clients call me overjoyed. I’ve seen some of the best work get scrapped. I’ve canceled amazing media plans. I’ve worked on teams where we negotiated amazing media programs with amazing media partners that had perfect synergy with our brands. It’s a cool industry. And at the end of the day, ads that are the blood, sweat and tears of teams of people inundate you in your home, at work, in your car, at the airport. So many of us are annoyed by ads. Entertained by ads. Moved to take action (positively or negatively) by ads. It’s cool to hate ads, but tell me you haven’t heard of a Sham-Wow or Tide or Toyota or Apple. Tell me you don’t get just a little excited about the ads in the Superbowl.

Advertising is an art and it’s a science. It’s communication at its best when it entertains and informs in :30 seconds or less, in a page or less, on a billboard on the highway, on a screen in an elevator. It’s communication at its best when you remember the brand, the product. And then you try it. And you buy it. And you recommend it. It’s at its best when you feel that you discovered the product and become a spokesperson.

Advertising is an industry founded entirely ideas and dreams and thoughts.

The next time you experience an ad in a magazine, on TV, on a website, on the radio, on a billboard, on a bus, in an airport, on a train, on your cell phone – know that it started as an idea. An idea that was probably hatched under the hot lights of a conference room. Probably after hours. By people running only on Diet Coke and Red bull and candy from the candy jar next to accounting. And they draw from their experiences and their lives – the ones they have and the ones they wish they had. And at 7:30 pm on a Tuesday, while memorizing the features and benefits and positioning statement of a product, someone speaks up and says, “Hey guys, I have an idea…” And maybe that brave soul is a senior manager or an intern or a creative or a media person or a brand manager. But it doesn’t matter because whoever has the idea, has the floor.

And this brave soul talks about a trip they took to a place they love and how it made them feel. And then they talk about how that imagery would be a perfect visual analogy for the product in front of them. And it ties in perfectly with this idea for a tag line that they have. And then… And then there is a point where someone else, inspired, takes the hand-off on the idea and they build on it – I get what you’re saying – it totally speaks to our target audience – it would work perfectly in these media options – we could shoot it in Argentina or Colorado or Iowa – and the vision for the execution and the next steps pull together like a snowball picking up speed rolling down a mountain.

And this avalanche of thinking takes over these ad agency folks lives. Pictures are tacked up over their offices. Media vendors are contacted, more ideas are brainstormed. Plans. Negotiations. More late nights. More lunches at their desks.

And one day, you’re making dinner and watching the 6 pm news. And an ad for a car or a coffee maker or a shoe or a phone is in the first position of the commercial pod and the imagery reminds you of something you loved as a child. A vacation you took, a place you went to – and you smile. And you think, hmm, a new … interesting. And maybe you buy it or maybe you don’t.

That is advertising, when it goes well.

There are so many days when it doesn’t go well. There are so many times when my eyes were bloodshot looking at a spreadsheet or a flowchart or a presentation. There were many nights when I ate lunch and dinner at my desk. When I drank more than 50 oz of diet coke. When I walked out to the last car in the last row of the parking lot, lit by a solitary street light.

But it always felt worth it when it worked.

thinkin' and runnin'

July 26, 2009 / emmykay / Leave a comment

can sometimes be a bad, nay, dangerous for me. (See “Woops” post)

What I didn’t explain in that post back in 2007 was that I was thinking about a park I used to go to when I was little and next thing I knew – I was sailing through the air, quickly headed to the ground. Boom.

But have I learned my lesson about thinking and running? Nope. I do it with reckless abandon. Probably to the detriment of any running technique I might have.

So what was I thinking about today while I ran? Here’s how my run went:

Mile 1:
I don’t think I’m going to make it.
I am so tired.
It’s probably ridiculous that I am even trying to run since I am SO tired.
And it’s not like, normal tired.
It’s real tired.
Oh, a pear tree.
I wonder if fruit trees are hard wood or soft wood.
If they are hard wood, that would probably be good because they carry a lot of weight with the fruit.
But then again, soft wood would be a little more flexible and less brittle.
Bump.
Oh no, the hill. (Not a real hill, just a very minor incline. I should be honest about it, I think.)
This is such a huge hill.
I might not make it up the hill.
Police officer in car.
I wonder if me running like this is a crime in progress.
Nope, he kept rolling by.
He? She? Hmm – definitely a he.
Oh my knee hurts. Well, this isn’t good.
I bet it’s my stride.
I bet my fatty thighs are causing my legs to be in an unnatural formation, thus putting undue stress on my knees.
Maybe I should get some shoe inserts.
Darn this hill.
Must. Focus.

…and this goes on for 2 more miles.

One of the more serious topics that I reflected on was the sermon from church this morning. David Nasser, an Iranian refuge who became a Christian at 18 yrs old and has been a Pastor for probably over a decade, came to Willow to teach.

I love when we have guests. Not because I don’t enjoy Bill Hybels – he’s great – but because they offer such interesting and unique perspectives.

Towards the end of his story about his life (which was amazing and moving – I almost cried multiple times), he touched on a few things I found particularly interesting and well-said.

You cannot be good enough.
This is so true! Grace is not about living your life “good enough” to earn salvation. Grace is a gift and is free and is immense. I cannot hear this message enough.

It is more difficult to reach people who are living a “good” life than people with obvious sin patterns.
I think this is sooo true. Here’s an illustration of the point. We all know we should drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. That is what our bodies require to be functioning at a good level. People who do not have access to water, have poor water supplies or who have just run a marathon KNOW that they NEED water. They are thirsty.

But so many of us are dehydrated throughout the day without knowing we are. My doctor asks me all the time how much water I get, and for a long time, I wasn’t drinking much water. I mean, I wasn’t thirsty. Why should I drink? I just had 3 diet cokes – doesn’t that count? (No, says my doctor – it doesn’t.)

And I think that’s how it is sometimes spiritually. People in impovrished nations full of strife and discontent and war, are often MORE receptive to hearing about God’s grace than comfortable people. People in the first group are accutely aware of their hurt and don’t have anything to fill it with.

But that second group…

I am a person in a priveleged country with a priveleged life and I OFTEN choose to replace God with cheap (sorry to say, Diet Coke-ish) alternatives. Becaues I use these cheap alternatives, I don’t even realize how thirsty I am.

And that is how the father of lies works. He replaces good, fresh, clean fruits with Ding Dongs, calls it delicious food – and I eat it all up.

Sure I am full, but it is short-lived and I am even hungrier than I was before. So yeah – this sermon is totally working on my heart (and apparently my stomach).

Good stuff, Mr. Nasser. Thanks for sharing!

unholy AT&T

July 2, 2009 / emmykay / Leave a comment

Oh. My. Goodness.

There is nothing that is more horrific to me than dealing with AT&T online.

Let me explain.

I get my online bill in my email inbox. I click “Pay bill now.”

I go to the URL and I enter my email address and password. The very same one I used to login to the email account in order to pay my bill, actually. The. Very. Same. One.

Now, sometimes it works. For months, even years, I can pay my bill without incident.

But the second I delete my cookies or internet files, the whole lame thing falls apart.

What happens when it DOESN’T work (which it hasn’t worked since we moved back to Illinois – oh yes, this kind of joy even happened in Wisconsin), is a thing called the Death Loop.

I click. I go to their website. I enter my password. I am directed to a page that MISLEADINGLY looks like a hub page. I click “manage accounts.” Nothing. Click it again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

I try going back – and still find myself back at this nothing hub page.

I try a different route through “My Yahoo AT&T.”

Nothing.

I do this for about 90 seconds. Trying, trying to find my way out of this labyrinth.

NO FREAKING LUCK.

Hello, Death Loop.

And then, today, I called AT&T. And I have to tell you that I dislike calling them almost as much as I dislike their website.

I call and get their voice activated prompts. YES. Love this.

“Please enter or say your phone number,” the too-polite voice says.

Because I know TALKING is futile, I enter my phone number into the keypad.

“Ok, thank you. I will look that up for you. Alright, please say why you are calling today. If you are calling to Pay a Bill, say ‘Pay a Bill'”

“Pay a bill.”

“Did you say ‘Kill my dog*?’ Please say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, please say why you are calling today.”

“Pay A Bill.”

“You said, ‘Pay a bill.’ Is this correct?”

“Yes.”

Silence.

“YES, DARN IT, YES!”

Silence.

“I’m sorry, please say why you are calling.”

“I WANT TO PAY MY BILL!”

At this point, I am sooooo frustrated, I hit zero 30 times in a row. I found that this is an effective method for bypassing the smarmy computer troll.

“I’m sorry, our office hours are 7 am to 6 pm. Please call back during normal office hours.”

WHAT!?!

Disbelief. Shock. Anger. Sadness.

And I look down. It’s 6:02 pm. SIX OH TWO!!!!

Can someone please give me a puppy to kick???***

Ok, and I know. I know. There are sooo many bigger issues in life to deal with. So many people who would love this to be their most angering issue in the day. I get that. But really, AT&T? Really? I just want to give you our money. Please, let me give you our freaking money.

*Slight exaggeration on my part.
**Note: bill payment issues aside, I generally like AT&T. They just make it so hard to love them. So. Stinkin. Hard.
***Totally just kidding about the puppy. I don’t kick puppies and I don’t condone others kicking puppies. If you actually kick puppies on purpose, I probably don’t like you. And neither does your mom. Sorry, but that’s life. Puppy kickers don’t get Christmas presents from their moms. Or Santa.

The Habitual View of Passing Satellites

June 25, 2009 / emmykay / Leave a comment

FK and I are working on our 5 yr plan.

It is pretty clear to us that prayer will have to be a habit.

Habits sound boring and mundane.

Sometimes habits sound like obligations – or things you don’t really consider when you do them because, well, habits are second nature.

The very reason we make things habitual is because we will do those things that are habits first.

If I am in the habit of emotionally eating crappy food, when things get emotional I will…

eat.

So when I am trying to become healthy, I try to make eating healthy a habit.

Then when things get emotional I will…

not eat crap. Maybe I will just not eat.

What if I train myself to run when I am stressed? I did that before.

The results were miraculous.

But it takes 3 weeks to form a habit.

And 3 days to break it.

Dirty.

So back to prayer. It needs to be habitual.

If I always pray even during the easy times,

then when the big stuff comes down –

I will pray.

There are bad habits and good habits. But most habits sound impersonal. If FK told me I was a habit, I would be offended. Just a little.

I don’t think that God will be offended if I am obediently seeking Him.

I think He will be delighted.

And I will make better choices because my will will be aligned with His will.

Frank and I talked last night about watching a satellite “set.”

When he flies at night, he sees shooting stars and satellites and the milky way so clearly.

One night, he was flying and he saw a really bright object close by – it was a satellite.

The satellite was so high up that it was still reflecting the light from the sun. The sun was setting and eventually the satellite faded out.

“Hmm, I wonder if you will ever see a satellite rise?” I asked.

“Nah,” Frank replied, “It’s like shooting stars, you never see the shooting star start… you just see where it goes.”

But what if we had our eye on the satellite the whole time? What if we knew where it was? Then we could see it rise.

And maybe that’s how it is with God – if I am trained to look at the sky, not only will I see His hand where I have been, but I will see His hand directing where I will go.

Then I will know where I should go – and I will see the evidence of Him in my life.

Sweetness.

emmy kay and co.

love > everything else

reflections