I was just thinking today, outloud, about how far Frank and I have come since we were first married.
I’ve only really witnessed a few marriages up close and personal – my parents and my maternal grand parents.
And both were marriages were/are very fiery, passionate, yet humorous, pairings.
I guess they raised my tolerance level for my own marriage. Which is good because, man, Frank really tested my limits.
And from time to time, I tested his…
Here are three things about our marriage:
Example 1. The Shower.
When Frank and I were first married, he liked to test the boundaries (many of you who know me in real life know these stories – so you can feel free to skip ahead).
Frank thought it was quite novel that now that we were married, it was for LIFE. And he liked to see exactly how long I would let him live.
His first test of the longevity of our union was simple: pour cold water on me over the top of the shower. Awe-some.
Unfortunately for him, I got wise and I could hear him running the water in the kitchen and yell at him pre-emptively.
When that got old (which was rather quickly), he decided to go for the grand-daddy of all shower pranks: he threw cold water over the top, flushed the toilet and turned off the lights.
And he’s still alive today.
Example 2. The Bugs.
When I am stressed out, I dream about weird things. When we were first married, I had a very stressful job and we had a bug infestation. Specifically, the bug infestation was a colony of earwigs. You know, the ugly bugs with pinchers on them? In one night, Frank killed 19 of them in our master bedroom.
It was nasty.
As a result, I would dream about bugs crawling on me and I would wake up at 4 a.m., turn on all the lights in our room and pull back the covers.
Thankfully, the only thing I found in the bed was a very confused husband staring back at me.
One night, as we were falling asleep, Frank gently brushed my leg with his finger, mimicking the sensation of a bug crawling on my thigh.
Squealing, I jumped out of bed, turned on the lights and pulled back the covers. Frank grinned back at me, proud of his accomplishment.
“FINE!” I said, snatching my pillow off of the bed. “I will sleep on the COUCH!”
Sidebar: If you know nothing about Frank, you should just know that he HATES being startled, especially by people jumping out at him. Continuing on with the story…
As I stormed down the hall, Frank realized that he went too far and followed me out to the family room.
What he didn’t know is that I ducked into the laundry room.
As he passed the dark laundry room on his way to the also dark family room, I jumped out at him, yelling.
Frank screamed. I smiled. We both went back to bed and eventually fell asleep.
Example 3. The Penny.
There are a few things that happen in our marriage that Frank and I are fully aware of, but we don’t say anything about them. I can’t tell you about the most current examples of this because, well, Frank reads this blog and it would break the code of silence prematurely.
When we were first married, there was a penny on the floor of the kitchen. I’m not sure how it got there, but when I noticed it I wondered if Frank would pick it up.
And Frank wondered if I would pick it up.
For months, we walked around this penny in the kitchen. I even washed the floors around the penny.
We said not a word to each other about the penny.
One day Frank’s mom was visiting and she saw the penny and bent down to pick it up -but I stopped her.
“Oh, no, go ahead and leave that penny there. I’m waiting to see if Frank will pick it up,” I explained.
She sort of cocked her head to one side and looked at me, puzzled.
She still does that. Our marriage often causes people to pause and wonder.
And I don’t blame them.
4 thoughts on “three things: marriage edition”
This post made me laugh right out loud, how incredible. You guys are lucky!! I love the story about the Penny, it reminds me or this moral tale I just recently read.. Chuckle, chuckle.. Anyway, that was fun, thanks for the post!!
Hehehehehehe. I leave my shoes everywhere and doors of cabinets open for no reason. John was shocked. Every marriage has a thing. It’s what keeps you strong! Love you!
You two are so much fun!
Pingback: how to date like Frank and Emily « emmy kay