follicologilicious

Because invasive ultra sounds are oh-so-much-fun, I’ve decided to pop by the doctor’s office and see if they could just see how my ovaries are doing.

So, lube up the magic stick, Emmy is on her way!

Was that TMI?

My bad.  🙂

So, while I’m getting my follicology on, it would be most excellent if you could pray for us.  Please pray first, and foremost, that God’s will is done.  And second, please pray that He would bless us with children.  And third, just for fun, please pray that I have a good hair day tomorrow.

There’s nothing worse than going in to have your hoo-ha inspected and having bad hair.

Your serious prayers on the first two request is appreciated.

And if you want to toss in the freebie #3 request, that’s cool, too.

Thank you.  🙂

follicology update

Well, good news/bad news.

Good news: the follicle (one) grew.

Bad news: it’s only 12mm (barely).  It needs to be at least 18mm for the doctor to rupture the follicle and perform IUI.

I am trying to be positive, but it’s a bit disheartening.  I know God has a plan, and I am confident in that.  I just need to be hopeful that it will work out, but be prepared for it not to.  Two such extremes, I know.

Please keep praying because the fact that the follicle grew is great!  It just needs to grow a little bit faster.  It would have been much worse – the follicles could have shrunk… that wouldn’t have been very hopeful at all.

More on this, I am sure, at a later time.  Thanks so much for all of your prayers!

On a side note: Frank and I are starting to try a more organic diet.  Anyone have suggestions on this??

addendum

I was a little dramatic with my post last night, so I feel that I should add an addendum explaining the situation a little bit better.

My follicles (developing eggs) are at 9 mm.  Over 5 days, my follicles only grew 1 mm (normal growth rates are 2mm per day).  In order for them to be ruptured, they need to be at 18 mm.  Hopefully, my body will kick into gear and remember how to grow a follicle (we were doing so well with that, little ovaries!).  I have a third follicology on Thursday to see if my ovaries do anything.  It’s looking like, if these follicles grow at a faster pace, we will do the IUI next week – possibly. 

It’s hard to tell with my doctor whether or not she’s optimistic because she’s an optimistic person – or if she’s optimistic because it’s an optimistic situation.  FK feels the same way – it’s hard to tell if she’s just trying to keep our spirits up or if she genuinely means it.  I guess, from her perspective, fertility has so many variables and a woman’s cycle can vary greatly from month to month, she probably expects the unexpected to some degree.

It’s not that I’ve lost hope entirely.  I just think that the month after month of weird test results and the bad-news-good-news ride, I am having a hard time seeing a positive outcome on this. 

I know that God hears my prayers.  I know that it is entirely within the realm of His capabilities to bless us with a child.

Will He?  I hope so. 

My emotions have been all over the place with this cycle.  I don’t know how much of this is from the medication (probably 75%?) and how much is from weariness (25%).  It’s hard when your emotions and your body do not feel like your own.

That being said, we’re going to give this a few more cycles.  My doctor said that the second and third cycles of IUI are usually the best chances.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.  We both really, really appreciate it.  Please keep praying!!

follicology part deux

Well, today did not go as well as hoped.

The largest follicle last Thursday was 8 mm and today it was… 9 mm.  Hm.

Because the follicles grew, allbeit not by very much, the doctor has some hope.  I have a follow up study on Thursday night to see if they grow at all.

To be honest, I wasn’t very optimistic going into tonight – and I’m not very optimistic about it moving forward.

I used to be able to vividly imagine what it would be like to be pregnant and have a baby.

It’s getting harder and harder to imagine that.

snippets

Mary, Mary, Quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

… Not as big as we thought it might.  I went to the doctor.  Follicles are tiny.  Only 50% the size they need to be.  Going to go back Tuesday night for a follow-up study.  If they look better (which they should) then we can do the IUI on Wednesday.  If they need more time to bake, we’re targeting next Friday.  Get growing, follicles!

***

So, clearly I am still learning at my new job.  Here is how a meeting went today.

Boss, Director, Manager, Smart Legal Guy 1 (Burns) and Smart Legal Guy 2 (Smithers) + me go into a meeting.

Boss: We are all gathered here today to talk about the XYZ district on the DEU 12S23 parcel which is part of proposition 239LEG339-3-4-1-R4.
Me: ::nodding::
Burns: Very interesting.  Well,  I had a thought.  I was thinking that if we could extend the LIQ district while balancing out the CLAS parcel we could then see a positive cash flow on the differentials forwarded to escrow funded educational tax bracket bipartisan docket agenda platform.
Me: ::nodding::
Director: ::grunting:: I see what you’re saying… so you could possibly do the deal on the upside without the downside in the (and at this point, I can’t even make anything else up, so it sounded like, “blah blah blah”)
Me: ::furrowing eyebrows::
Manager: So this is pretty much amazing, is that what I’m hearing?
Burns: Yes, I am pretty much brilliant.
Boss: I agree.
Me: ::nodding enthusiastically! writing down various letters and abreviations – Must Google later!::
Smithers: Any questions?
Me: Nope!

***

I am over my sickness from the weekend, but have branched into a new and exciting sickness: a massive cold.
Oh yes.  That’s right.  Does it get any more fun??

follicology

Otherwise known as the study of follicles.

I get to spend a delightful 20 minutes with my favorite ultra sound tech tomorrow.  She is so kind.  Every time I see her, she reminds me that she needs to lower the table before I try to jump off.  If that doesn’t say “customer service,” then I don’t know what does.

We’ll find out tomorrow where we are with the growth and development of follicles.  Once we see how my garden is growing, my doc will be able to tell me what’s next.  Please pray for us!

In other news:  this is the time where I really start my diet and exercise plan.  For real. Serious.  No messing around.

Onward!

what's the plan?

ok, before I get into the plan with our fertility, I would just like to interrupt letting you all know how much I love our DVR.

I. Love. It.

I paused the TV to go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

I didn’t have to wait for a commercial!

***

Moving on.

So we are back in the fertility loop, yet again.  I started clomid again yesterday.  Thursday we have a follicle study and we’ll get a better idea of how the follicles are developing.  Once we know how they look, we’ll set up what the exact next steps are for the IUI.

We are really praying that the IUI (basically insemination) works.  Our fertility program is recommending 3 cycles of IUI.  After that, we’re just going to have to see what our options are for addressing our fertility and expanding our family.

As always, we would love your prayers.  Here are a few things that we could use specific prayer for:

1. That we would seek to glorify God first in all of this.  No matter the result, our focus needs to be on Him.  This is difficult to remember.

2. That we would have peace, no matter the result.

3. That God would bless us with children.

That’s about it.  Now back to the TV show I’ve had on “pause” for the past 30 minutes.  I LOVE this DVR biz!

appointment

Frank and I had a follow up meeting with our Doctor regarding the test results.

Not only did we move from the “poor” category (with one foot solidly in the “pregnancy not possible” category), our second opinion improved us to the “good” category.  This means we are candidates for IUI (insemination)!

PRAISE GOD!

This is huge.  If you recall, we were in a place where we weren’t even sure if IUI was an option for us any more.  IUI is a FRACTION of the cost of doing a cycle of IVF.  PLUS most of it is covered by our insurance. 

God is Good.

answered prayer

I love and appreciate when people say that they are thinking of us – it’s nice to know that people are remembering us and are hoping that it works out well for us.  Kind thoughts are always appreciated and are not taken lightly.

What really knocks our socks off is when people pray for us.  Prayer is such an active process of going to our Heavenly Father and bringing those people and circumstances that are on our hearts to Him.  If you want to know what you can do for us, pray. And scratch Frank’s back – he LOVES it.

Whenever I see an ambulance go by, I generally pray for the people in the ambulance.  Their day has just gone south if they are headed somewhere in an ambulance.  I imagine that these ambulances fly to the hospital, leaving a comet’s tail of prayer in their wake.

A few years ago, when my dad had a stroke, the ambulance made it to my parents’ house in less than 3 minutes.  Our neighbors didn’t know what was going on, but their family stood on their lawn and prayed for my dad.  It makes my soul happy to know that my dad’s ambulance also had a comet tail of prayer on his way to the hospital.  Along with the amazing emergency medical team and the doctors and nurses, I credit the people who stopped to pray for my dad with helping save his life.

During this whole fertility adventure, Frank and I have been so grateful for all of the prayers that have gone heavenward on our behalf.  That is stinkin’ awesome!

A few days ago I emailed one of my friends who is an amazing prayer warrior.  When she says that she is going to pray, it’s not lip service.   She goes to the mat praying.  Awe.some.

So I told her about our sitch and she said she’d pray.  A few days later she emailed me and said, “This might sound weird, but God told me that you should keep praying (and listening).  He is going to give you direction on your treatment and your children.”

What an encouragement!  I was energized by this because so often, it’s not always easy for me to hear from God so clearly (that’s a whole ‘nother topic for a whole ‘nother day).  The next morning I went for a run and I was praying and God said to me, “Be still and know that I am God.”

While that doesn’t sound like the answer that I was hoping for, it was what I needed.  It calmed my heart and soul.

So I went on my merry way.

Then I got an email from my doctor.  The second round of tests looked better than the first.  We are candidates for insemination.

My goodness.

So I love when people think of us.  It’s great and I don’t take that lightly.  Some people don’t believe in prayer and so thinking of us is the best thing they have in their arsenal.  And it means that we matter to them, which fosters community and love.  I’m cool with that.

But when people pray, man, that is awesome.  God hears our prayers and that is sweet.