Family

more dad updates

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

I just came back from the hospital from seeing Dad. He has improved GREATLY from where he was last night.

For those of you who don’t know, Dad had a pain in his abdomen since Wednesday. Finally, on Friday, they figured out that it wasn’t a pulled muscle like they assumed – it was actually pulmonary embolisms. Pulmonary embolisms (I didn’t know what those were until I looked it up on WebMD.com) are blood clots in the lungs. Large clots can kill patients instantaneously, while smaller clots are survivable. Dad’s pain level reached an 8 or 9 (10 being the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life), before they were able to do anything to help him out.

The good news is, the doctors did a brain CT scan and discovered that the brain swelling has gone down since his last CT and the bleeding in his brain stopped. This allowed the doctors to give Dad some blood thinners and install a filter in his vein to “catch” loose clots. As of this afternoon, Dad did not have a headache (for the first time in 3 weeks) and his abdomen doesn’t hurt. They took him out of Critical Care this afternoon and put him in a private room (sure beats rooming with EColi guy… yuck!). When I left, Dad was asleep in bed and Mom was asleep in the chair next to the bed with the Cubs game playing softly in the background. Dad’s mom, Grandma R, would have been proud. 🙂

Anyway, thanks again for everyone who continues to pray for Dad and our family. They mean a lot and make a difference!

things dad says

/ emmykay / 2 Comments

Dad has said some doozies since he’s been in the hospital that have kept us laughing. Just to share a few…

Dad: See that bottle over there?
Emily: Yes Dad?
Dad: I have to pee into that. If I don’t, they are going to catheterize me.
Frank: We don’t want that!
Dad: No, we don’t. And they want to give me a tylenol suppository, can you believe that? This is like a bad prison movie!

later, after Frank and I came back from getting breakfast…

Dad (opening one eye): While you were gone…. they catheterized me!!!

Dad (in the middle of physical therapy, talking to Uncle Steve): I can stand better than you can golf!

The hospital where he was at played a lullaby throughout all of the rooms, each time a baby was born. During a 15 minute telephone conversation, the song played 5 times.
Dad: Holy crap, they’re spraying babies out into the parking lot! Oh no, there is one on my bed and he’s smoking a cigar. He looks like Papa!

Dad: Caitlin, can you please move me back to the other room?
Caitlin: Dad, the other room is in ICU. I can’t take you back there.
Dad: I’d do it for you.
Caitlin: I’m sorry, but I can’t move you.
Dad: Paunchy, my pillow, would do it for me if he could. But he can’t.
Paunchy the Pillow: I’d do it for you Rick.
Dad: See.
Paunchy the Pillow: Oh no, I just had a stroke!
Dad: Paunchy just had a stroke in his right feather.

Mom: Rick, how are you doing this morning?
Dad: I still have a headache.
Mom: Ok, can you do me a favor? Can you hit the call button and have the nurses give you a vicodin?
Dad: My head still hurts.
Mom: I know, Rick. Please, hit the call button and have the nurses give you some vicodin. I will call you back in 30 minutes.
30 minutes later, Mom calls back, but the room is busy. She calls the nurses’ station.
Mom: Hi, my husband’s phone is busy. Can you check to see that it isn’t off the hook?
Nurse: One moment. (brief pause) Ok, it looks like he requested all incoming calls to be blocked. He told the operator that you requested it.
Mom: Oh, for Pete’s sake, I told him to hit the call button!
Later, once Mom got a hold of Dad.
Mom: Richard, I asked you to call the nurses, why did you have your calls blocked?
Dad (Irritated): You told me TWICE to block the calls.
Mom: I told you TWICE to hit the call button!!
Dad: Oh.
Mom: Did you get the vicodin?
Dad: Yeah.
Mom: Ok. Good.

Dad: Where is Mom?
Emily: She’s showering. She’ll be on her way.
Dad: It’s always something with her.

Dad (Pointing his index finger that has a pulse monitor on it): ET phone home.

Dad (Anytime someone came into his room): Rick. June. 52. (The nurses always asked him his name, the month and his age)

Dad: I told them I wanted to do my rehab outpatient.
Emily: You did what??
Dad: I need to get out of here. I told them I could do my therapy outpatient. She fed me some crap about this being the gold standard in hospital care. She’s a (expletive, expletive).
Emily: Oh.

holes

/ emmykay / 2 Comments

My dad:
– born in St. Francis Hospital in Peoria
– born on August 17, 1954
– family birth order is boy, girl, girl, boy
– both of his parents were born in October

My mom:
– born in St. Francis Hospital in Evanston
– born on August 18, 1954
– family birth order is boy, girl, girl, boy
– both of her parents were born in January

And with all of those things lined up, I guess it’s not too surprising that they were both born with holes in their hearts that weren’t discovered until they each suffered a stroke.

The four of us kids are all going to get our hearts checked out (starting with Caitlin).

Update on Dad: He is doing a little better. He has some more facial expression than he had previously. His brain was swelling last night and my mom misunderstood the doctors and thought it was a major issue that couldn’t be helped. Turns out most stroke victims have some brain swelling a few days after the stroke, so it was normal (although painful).

Thanks to everyone who has offered their prayers – it makes a big difference!

prayer for dad

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

As a lot of you might know, my dad had a stroke last night. This stroke was completely unexpected and shocking, and as you can imagine, my family is wrestling with this situation (myself included).

My dad is only 52, he doesn’t smoke, he drinks once in a while (no more than a glass of wine, etc), he eats well and he exercises 3x / week. His regular physician was shocked that this happened to him because he was the picture of a middle aged man in good health. On a personal note, the regular physician was quite scared for himself as he is the same age as my dad.

Unfortunately, the stroke was quite serious and has left him paralyzed on the left side of his body. He did start to regain some broader movement this afternoon (moving his left leg, wiggling his toes slightly, lifting his shoulder), which is a huge blessing. This road to recovery is looking to be long, but I know my dad is a trooper and will approach it with the same ferverency that he approaches everything else.

For me, this whole situation has really hit quite close to home. My dad is my hero. Throughout the countless hours in the waiting room and sitting next to his bed in ICU, I have been thinking about all of my happy dad memories. A lot of those memories involve activities I did with my dad, and it makes me sad to think he might not be able to do those same things with our kids one day. You never think your parents will get old – especially when they are not old – and then one day, bam. Seeing him sitting in the hospital bed, in extreme pain and unable to move half of his body was shocking, to say the least. My dad is an excellent father, a fabulous husband and a good friend to anyone who knows him. He is tenacious and persistent, but always in a thoughtful, considerate way. I know this stroke will not keep him down, but to see him hurting, that is what really kills me. I have confidence in his ability to beat this the same way he does everything: he starts small with some kindling and small sticks, he gets a little fire going and feeds it and before you know it, he has a huge bonfire going.

You can’t help but look at this situation and think, “this is so unfair!” There are so many people that abuse their bodies and hurt other people. The question of why something like this would happen is not far from our minds. How could God let something like this happen to such a good person?

This afternoon I took a nap and a shower (both were much needed) and thought about this and prayed about this. I found myself angry at God for letting this happen to my dad. My prayers were angry, “God, You HAVE to fix this. You can’t let this happen. This can’t happen to MY dad.” And I found myself wondering why He would do this. And then, while I was 30% praying and 70% having a temper tantrum, it occurred to me that God is so much bigger than this. Who am I to demand from the creator of the universe an explanation? Who do I think I am that I think I have this all figured out -that I can figure out God? What an incredible amount of pride and ego I must have. One of my friends just wrote about putting God in her box and expecting God to live up to her expectations. Here I was, doing the exact same thing.

The fact of the matter is, bad things happen to good people all the time. The question is not WHY does this happen, but rather, what do I need to learn from this and how can I help? Why does anything happen? I’m not sure, but that isn’t my job. I will drive myself crazy wondering why my dad is suffering like this and nothing will improve, nothing will get better.

So anyway, that’s what I’m going through – that’s what my whole family is going through. I just want to thank everyone for all of their prayers during this time. When someone tells me that they are praying for my dad, my heart just rejoices because in my mind, I see all of these sparkling prayers flying up to heaven and it’s beautiful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

As we say in my family: Tiwinot, mecca sicca, cacapoopoo.

since we’re going to blog about it…

/ emmykay / 1 Comment

This is in response to my roommate’s blog on 6/12.

I agree with my roommate that there is pressure for objective individuals to be more in touch with their emotions. But there is also understood pressure for sensitive people to put their emotions aside on a regular basis.

Tests in school aren’t based on emotional intelligence. The reason our check book doesn’t balance isn’t because I am in touch with my sacred inner self (it doesn’t balance because sometimes I forget to include all expenditures – not good). Cleaning the toilets a nd taking out the garbage can be satisfying when they are checked off the list, but do not necessarily lead to spiritual enlightment. Processing billing, negotiating a rate, and using statistical software at work do not require emotional sensitivity. No one has to say, “be more objective and less emotional.” That part is understood.

Not too many people I’ve ever met have been 100% objective – except for this young republican chick I met in college. If you were 100% objective, you would have little concern for other people, unless they could somehow better your cause. If that’s how life was, it would be nice and clean. But life is messy and so are relationships.

But outside of work skills, school skills and basic life survival skills, is the realm of interpersonal relationship skills. Objective people are not usually asked to be more emotionally sensitive when flying a plane. But they are asked to consider compassion, understanding and sensitivity when working with others. Emotional intelligence should be a course in school, right next to algebra and physics.

Maybe the reason that objective people are asked to be more sensitive is because hinting doesn’t work. 🙂

Anyway, what I think I have learned is that good marriages and friendships are messy. And by messy, I mean emotional, raw and, on many levels, somewhat irrational. I agree with Frank that we are each created with special traits (as diametrically opposed as they sometimes are) and that their intermingling can be a bit dirty, but that’s ok. It’s good that I get more accustomed to Frank’s rational view of the universe, and it’s good that he gets acquainted with compassion. Sometimes we need to realize that wild and crazy is ok.

And sometimes we (I) need to remember that there is a time and a place for wild and crazy. Ahem.

Also, I would like to say that I love Frank, even when he doesn’t think I will catch him pouring Hershey’s syrup into his mouth. (Always sanitary, his mouth never touched the bottle.)

Oh the list of things they didn’t cover in premarital counseling is endless.

Update on christmas

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Well, I am just getting back from Chicago and the CBS upfront. It looks good – they didn’t have to do a lot of hole-filling in their schedule. It seems they are a bit cocky, but I don’t think you can fix what isn’t broken. (Side note, Mariah Carey was there and looked AWESOME. She has lost some weight and looks better than she has in a long time. CBS has a Mariah special next fall, which should be interesting.)

As far as new programs go, CBS announced 1 comedy and only 3 dramas. The upfront presentation actually stayed within the 2 hours they said it would – rare for Les Moonves! The presentation was fairly bland – randomly the Jersey singers were there singing ’50s classics which didn’t make much sense until later when they announced that CBS has the Tony Awards and the Jersey singers are up for a Tony. aha.

As far as top picks go – if you only have 3 new dramas to choose from, it really slims it down. The pilot I personally want to watch is Jericho. I love shows that explore what would happen if the worst case scenario happens. Anyway – I like this kind of thing, I’m not sure if the American public would agree with me.

Dramas

Smith – Produced by John Wells (ER/West Wing). Starring Ray Liota, Virginia Madsen, Amy Smart, Franky G. You get up in the morning, you hug the kids, you kiss your wife goodbye. For Bobbie life is perfect – except his life is a lie. He is parat of a group of thieves who outsmart the best security and escape with the most priceless possessions. And at the end of the day – he goes back to an average life.

Jericho – Produced by John Turtletaub. Starring Ashley Scott, Skreg Braydon, Skeet Ulrich. Jay Green goes home to Jericho, KS to make peace with his past. That same day, a nuclear bomb goes off west of the city and communication with the outside world is cut off. The residents of Jericho must figure out how to survive while the world around them is falling apart.

*Also features additional story lines online.

Shark – Created/produced by Ron Howard and Spike Lee. Starring James Woods. James Woods stars as an ace defense attorney, Stark, known for getting the sleaziest clients off the hook. After one of his clients is released and then kills his wife, Stark feels guilty. He is offered a position with the DA’s office and takes it and is in charge of a group of young, wanna-be prosecutors.

Comedy

The Class – Created by David Crane (Friends). Starring Jason Ritter. A 3rd grade class is reunited for a classmate’s surprise birthday party. Watch what happens when old friends reconnect and pick up where they left off years ago. How many of them are going to mess up their lives along the way?

stillness

/ emmykay / 2 Comments

Folded over a rosary, the hands that were busy for 77 years, were quiet and still.

They didn’t really even look like her hands. I am used to seeing them lively – molding fabric into a dress, laying oils onto a canvas, and stirring ingredients into a meal for over 20 family members. Later in her life, her hands trembled and shook with Parkinsons. They became difficult to control. But the heart and mind won out over the hands and commanded them to continue making art… making dinner… holding a hand full of playing cards…

Fifteen years ago – maybe not even that long – we were gathered around the kitchen table pealing potatoes. She was cooking a batch of frites (fries) in the oven. She pulled them out. We laughed, smiled and breathed in the aroma of a delicious meal. She walked toward us, still smiling. But then, a great hiccup of life and the first symptoms of disease, pulled the pan out of her hands. All the air in the room was still. The pan clattered to the floor – her hands frozen in position.

At first it was shaking and then it was full on tremors. She made my sister a coat, me a dress, and drapes for her room. She broke her hip. She cooked countless more dinners. She lost her husband. She painted. She bought a motorized chair to cruise through the house. She sketched and drew.

But after 77 years of creating, today her hands were still.

Good bye, Nani, and good night. God bless you.

Our Weekend and Why We’re Not Having Kids

/ emmykay / 3 Comments

…any time soon.

Well, we went up to Minneapolis to visit my favorite Uncle Ron and favorite Aunt Julie. We left Milwaukee on Friday night and arrived just before midnight in Minneapolis. Saturday we went to the Mall of America. It was an emotional and spiritual journey for me to the mothership. I must no reconsider my mall rankings. My top 5 malls are now:

1. Mall of America (no surprises, right?)

2. Woodfield

3. Deer Park

4. Oak Brook

5. Southtown

Now, I made this list without having visited the much talked about Mayfair mall in Northwestern Milwaukee. I heard that is the Wisconsin mall to be reckoned with. I may have to visit this week….

Anyway, back to our trip. We went to dinner at this great restaurant on Long Lake. We ate walleye and enjoyed a fantastic view. Aunt Julie & Uncle Ron are great and we had a great time chatting with them.

After that, we went up to my cousin’s house to see his family. Which is why frank and I are delaying starting our own family. While his children are cute, we were so happy & relieved to be going home to a clean, child-free apartment. We were EXHAUSTED after spending time with these kids. I don’ tknow how people do it!!

Anyway, I’m watching Oprah now after having the day off. mmm… Fabulous day!

The BIG Fight…

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So yeah, Frank, Caitlin (my sister) and I are apparently in a fight. Except it’s not really a fight, she’s just being funny. She called to tell us about some dude she met named Chad. Oooh, Chhhhhad, does he dangle? Anyway, so Cait is very cute and she met this guy and so Frank and I felt that we shouldn’t get too excited, but this guy does sound nice. I think.

Cait is alos a little upset because I have not mentioned her nearly enough on my blog. So here we go, let me tell you about my sister Cait.

Caitlin is way cool and hot. She was my maid of honor (co – my other sister, Sarah was my Jr. Maid of Honor) and did an EXCELLENT job. I am so lucky that she is my sister because not only is she way cool and hot, but she is also extremely funny (sometimes I laugh so hard I can’t breathe) and so wise.

So yeah, I’m done now. THe bachelor is on. I LOVE YOU CAITLIN!