delightful

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

we had our small group’s retreat this weekend and the weather was perfect – not too hot. We sat in millennium park and had two of our sessions and lunch. i could have stayed out there forever!! then we went to the hotel and checked in and had two more sessions and then walked to dinner. we ate dinner at quartinos on ontario and state. mmmmm – italian tappas!! SO good.

then we went back to talk about psalms and parables before going to sleep.

loved hanging with the girls! so tired tho… must sleep…

zippers

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

she is just before,
the moments prior to the after
she stands in still frame
the outcome still undone

gleaming handle bars sparkling in the sun
hair streaming, streamers streaming
from handlebars and banana seats
a clear sky, the sun is gleaming

riding that line until it’s fine
she is sure, yet her feet are sliding
slipping, skidding, skipping – skipped.
she separates from the bike she is riding

still no harm done just quite yet
she has not caught time – until
the present and future meet
bike, girl and streamers made still

and the teeth of time merge relentlessly,
guided by a steady hand
in the next moment looking back
aware not of the “or”s, only of the “and”

down the hatch!

/ emmykay / 1 Comment

Well, I have the all-clear from my nurse to start the Clomid today. YES! Crazy-town, here. I. come!

Protocol this month:

Days 5-9: 100mg of Clomid (+50mg vs. last month)
Days 8-12: 2mg of Estradiol (same vs. last month)
Day 12: Trigger shot, as long as I have some hearty follicles!
Day 14-30something: Progesterone (saaaweet)

… and done.

going… going….

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

So I ran 2 miles this morning. I want to document all of my runs because, well, they take a monumental amount of mental and physical effort for me. Although, what I discovered today is that they really only take a lot of mental effort… and not as much physical effort as I would think.

Years ago, me running 1 mile was amazing. I remember the first time I ran the full mile without stopping to walk. And a few years after that, I remember when I ran the mile in 8 minutes and 30 seconds. That was after averaging 13 minute miles for most of my life. I was so proud!

Then years later, I started a running program in 2007. I was going to train to do a half marathon and I printed out a running schedule from RunnersWorld.com . The first week (just like this week) was all 2 mile runs. And I did it! yay! But then there was the next week: a 3 mile run! Oh my! And the week after that – 4 miles! And then 5! And then 6!

And then Dad got sick. I kept running, but shortly after he got sick, I took a nasty fall. My knees were swollen and painful. So I stopped running as far. I sort of petered out. And work got busy. And a million things took the front seat to my health and fitness.

So two years later, here I am. I’m going to climb this mountain again. Sure, I might get pregnant in the middle of it all and have to convert to walking. That would be awesome if that happens. But I don’t want to NOT run and be healthy because I MIGHT get pregnant. That would be silly.

Two miles. Sunday, another two miles. And next week, I will see what I am made of when I look a 3 mile run in the face… and do it! (slowly, of course)

and everywhere I went, I was run-ning!

/ emmykay / 5 Comments

Ok, so I got up this morning (after snoozing for a little bit) and ran 2 miles. Well, ran is a little bit aggressive. Jogged. Shuffled quickly. Shuffled.

Regardless, I moved my body 2 miles this morning. I will do it again Thursday morning. I will NOT let myself fall into the abyss of weight gain.

So. help. me.

I also went to the doctor for my day 3 ultra sound. I have a few 9 mm and 10 mm follicles, which is really interesting since that’s how big they were last month on day 12. Hm.

I have to get some bloodwork tomorrow and then on Friday, I will start the double dose of clomid. Oh yes. Let the good times begin!

On Saturday I will have a follow up ultra sound to see if the follicles they saw today got any bigger. Oh, and she didn’t see any cysts. Which is pretty much amazing because on my February and subsequent ultra sounds they DID see cysts. My crazy body, I’m telling you. I have fibroids. I don’t have them. I have cysts. I don’t have them.

I will say, I am feeling very hopeful about this round of treatments. Even if it doesn’t work, I feel like we are working towards figuring this biz out.

gotta run.

/ emmykay / 5 Comments

that’s it.

i’m running.

tomorrow. 2 miles.

tuesday: 2 miles

thursday: 2 miles

i signed up on runnersworld.com

enough of this crap, emily. let’s get serious.

someone asked me if i was pregnant today.

how embarrassing is that? (jlm – it was one of your relatives…. eek!)

i mean, i wish i was pregnant, don’t get me wrong

but i am not pregnant.

and until i am pregnant, i need to get serious about my health and stop being sad about it.

forget this crap.

big day.

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

sometimes big days are really ordinary seeming days at the beginning.

showered. moisturized. dressed.

but ahead of me is possible bigness.

not 100% sure if today is the day for bigness.

big storms, yes. heading in from the west.

but big-news-ness? maybe. (no, i am not pregnant)

we shall see.

ducks, get in a row. today is your day to swim in formation.

some people like storms. some people freak out and curl up in a ball.

my dad taught me to love storms. to sit in the garage and eat an apple and watch the storm come in.

but one of my sisters hates storms. she can’t sleep.

so.

big day, huh?

MDW to ATL to MDW

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

… and in just about a 24 hour time period…

I met up with Frank in ATL at about 7 pm last night. We changed out of our travelin’ clothes and went to the east side of ATL for some delish pizza (sausage + spinace + garlic + tomatoes) and some refreshing icecream.

We sat outside of a bar/restaurant called…. the Vickery, I think?? No bugs (how is that possible?) and delightful weather. Not too hot. Not too cold. Lovely.

Our dear friend Vimal joined us for a nice cold beer and some chatter about this and that. Which was mostly a deep discussion of the innerworkings of the pilot manual (“See now, if you do this check list before you taxi, you will ultimately FORGET to take off, which is a problem. We’ve written MANY emails to the Chief Pilot and he always responds with, ‘Good to know.’ It’s amazing how many flights are going from Atlanta to Orlando via the interstate highway…”) My contribution to the chatter? “So, uh, do you guys listen to ‘Highway to the Danger Zone’ when you take off? Does your captain ever call you Goose?”

We went back to the crash pad and watched “Chuck” – our new favorite show! Love it so much! The lovely folks at Crew Scheduling provided a truly wonderous wake up call at 10 a.m., letting Frank know that his amazing flying skillz were needed at 5pm. A full seven hours notice prior to a flight is always appreciated.

Frank is such a good pilot that they let him sit in the back with the passengers on his way up to Baltimore. So, he rode up to Baltimore and then will fly the plane back tomorrow morning. For kicks, they are sending him up to Flint, MI after that and then back down to Atlanta… and then he comes home!!! NO WAY!

Anyway, it was nice to have an uneventful trip back to MDW. I didn’t get on the 2:30 pm flight (way over-booked), but I got on the 4:45 pm flight AND was seated in business class. Hello, complimentary cookies/granola bars/beer & wine!

unholy AT&T

/ emmykay / Leave a comment

Oh. My. Goodness.

There is nothing that is more horrific to me than dealing with AT&T online.

Let me explain.

I get my online bill in my email inbox. I click “Pay bill now.”

I go to the URL and I enter my email address and password. The very same one I used to login to the email account in order to pay my bill, actually. The. Very. Same. One.

Now, sometimes it works. For months, even years, I can pay my bill without incident.

But the second I delete my cookies or internet files, the whole lame thing falls apart.

What happens when it DOESN’T work (which it hasn’t worked since we moved back to Illinois – oh yes, this kind of joy even happened in Wisconsin), is a thing called the Death Loop.

I click. I go to their website. I enter my password. I am directed to a page that MISLEADINGLY looks like a hub page. I click “manage accounts.” Nothing. Click it again. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

I try going back – and still find myself back at this nothing hub page.

I try a different route through “My Yahoo AT&T.”

Nothing.

I do this for about 90 seconds. Trying, trying to find my way out of this labyrinth.

NO FREAKING LUCK.

Hello, Death Loop.

And then, today, I called AT&T. And I have to tell you that I dislike calling them almost as much as I dislike their website.

I call and get their voice activated prompts. YES. Love this.

“Please enter or say your phone number,” the too-polite voice says.

Because I know TALKING is futile, I enter my phone number into the keypad.

“Ok, thank you. I will look that up for you. Alright, please say why you are calling today. If you are calling to Pay a Bill, say ‘Pay a Bill'”

“Pay a bill.”

“Did you say ‘Kill my dog*?’ Please say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, please say why you are calling today.”

“Pay A Bill.”

“You said, ‘Pay a bill.’ Is this correct?”

“Yes.”

Silence.

“YES, DARN IT, YES!”

Silence.

“I’m sorry, please say why you are calling.”

“I WANT TO PAY MY BILL!”

At this point, I am sooooo frustrated, I hit zero 30 times in a row. I found that this is an effective method for bypassing the smarmy computer troll.

“I’m sorry, our office hours are 7 am to 6 pm. Please call back during normal office hours.”

WHAT!?!

Disbelief. Shock. Anger. Sadness.

And I look down. It’s 6:02 pm. SIX OH TWO!!!!

Can someone please give me a puppy to kick???***

Ok, and I know. I know. There are sooo many bigger issues in life to deal with. So many people who would love this to be their most angering issue in the day. I get that. But really, AT&T? Really? I just want to give you our money. Please, let me give you our freaking money.

*Slight exaggeration on my part.
**Note: bill payment issues aside, I generally like AT&T. They just make it so hard to love them. So. Stinkin. Hard.
***Totally just kidding about the puppy. I don’t kick puppies and I don’t condone others kicking puppies. If you actually kick puppies on purpose, I probably don’t like you. And neither does your mom. Sorry, but that’s life. Puppy kickers don’t get Christmas presents from their moms. Or Santa.

salsa.mmm.

/ emmykay / 1 Comment

so i decided to make some pre-emptive salsa. my salsa garden is about to produce our FIRST TOMATO! but i really wanted to test out a salsa recipe, so I bought the ingrediants at the store (hopefully for the last time).

Oh. my gosh.

Amazing.

I put in Roma Tomatos, jalepeno peppers, onion, cilantro (fresh from my garden!) and lime juice.

SOO good.

That’s all for now. I just wanted to share.