Wedding Updates

Right now Frank and I are looking to push the wedding up to October 2003 (yes, this year). The only trouble we are having is finding a reception hall–hmph! I’m sure we’ll uncover something… it will just take a little more looking than usual.

Clampet Updates

My family is the shame of our neighborhood. First, my brother’s friend took out our mailbox with his car. My dad decided to replace it with a cinderblock creation that makes the neighbors cringe. Last night my parents brought home the pop up camper. Fortunately for the neighbors we decided to open it up in the garage rather than on our front lawn… 🙂

Frank

Speaking of the camper, Frank says that he is not going camping with us unless my parents go flying with him. Folks, it looks like what we have here is a stalemate!

Oddities.

There are things that happen that people never talk about. Strange things that happen that you experience with other people and there is an unspoken, “Let’s never talk about this–Ever.” Which is fine–some things don’t need to be discussed.

In this book I am reading, a couple is driving to their honeymoon spot. The new bride is agoraphobic (afraid of open spaces) and rarely leaves her home town of Ann Arbor, MI. For the honeymoon, the groom convinces her to drive over to the UP (Upper Peninsula for those of us in the “know”). This drive requires that they cross the Mackinac Bridge–something that is truly terrifying for any individual who is agoraphobic. Anyway, as they are driving over the bridge, the woman FREAKS out. And farts.

Now in this situation, do you say, “Wow, good one sweetie!” or do you keep your trap shut? I would assume that you would just roll down a window and not discuss it. And that’s what they did.

So I was thinking back to my marketing class in college. We were discussing cell phones and different advertising options for Motorola. A guy in the class raised his hand and suggested a spot that featured individuals hiding under their desks as the World Trade Center crashes down around them and they make their last phone calls home. The room was silent for a moment as the class absorbed what this crazy man was saying. Then, as it sunk in, a low hum of, “Oh my God” raced through the room. It was as if the entire class couldn’t believe what he said. A brief exchange occurred between the professor and the student in which the professor told him that was an inappropriate idea. And then the class went along as normal.

After class, no one discussed it–it was sort of surreal. Like a dream you think is real and then realize it was a dream (deep, Emily, deep). A few days later, I finally said to one of my group members, “Did that really happen?” The relieved look on her face said, “Thank God–I thought I lost my mind! That really DID happen.”

Grossosities

This morning I made a “fumble”. I forgot my wallet–and therefore my cash/debit cards/etc–and got all flustered and wound up sitting on a different car than usual with different people. Now, for any Metra riders, you know you get attached to your routine. The car I was in had too many people and I didn’t “know” them.

The guy I sat next to read his paper and I read my book. La la la. He disembarked at Clybourn, so I had to stand up and let him out of our seat. I sat back down and looked at where he had been sitting. He jammed his newspaper between the wall and the seat. And sitting on the floor was his old banana peal. EWW. What are people thinking??? What about the poor guy who has to clean up the car? And WHAT does this guy’s house look like!?

Anyway, I’m sure I will have more later.

Cheers!

Livin' in CRAZY times…

Good things for a buck? Candy and me… for $1.

Shoppy Shop

Last night Kate and I went shopping. We had planned a date with Target. I love Target–I can’t leave that store empty handed! As we pulled into the parking lot, Kate said, “Oh! A dollar store!” Now, when I think of a dollar store, I think icky interior with cheap-o toys. It brought back memories of Christmas shopping when I was little.

But last night, Kate and I walked through the doors into our very own wonderland of happiness! They had all sorts of fun books, toys, games, candy–you name it! I got Frank a present at the dollar store–aren’t I an awesome girlfriend? Kate and Jamie are planning to go back to see what other treasures they can uncover.

This leads me to my job… I think that I saw my resume at the dollar store… “Hire me–$1”

Memorandum

So, I was chatting with my lovely cubemate, Angie. I was whining to her about how we don’t make any money and how we work all these crazy hours. She mentioned I may have missed the memo.

“What memo?” I thought. She emailed it to me. It is here in its entirety. Poetry, really.

___________________________________________________________

MEMORANDUM

To: All Employees

From: Management

Re: Your Paychecks

We don’t do it for the money, we do it because we LOVE it!

Management

…Elevator Adventures

Sometimes, when I’m good, I get to go on little adventures around the office. Today I went to 21 to get a bag of popcorn and a new ID Thingy.

ID Thingy

This ID Thingy is amazing. I used to have to wear my ID around my neck on a green string that said “Starcom”. But on 21, the receptionist gave me a handy-dandy belt clip that has my ID on a retractable string. Let’s just say it’s hours of fun at my desk!

Aside from its functional purposes, the belt clip also serves a very important social purpose here at the office. Having a belt clip ID Thingy says to others, “This chick is in the KNOW. She is HOOKED UP. She rocks because someone told her to put away her lame green ID holder and get herself a TRENDY, totally FABULOUS ID Thingy.” This experience will be documented on my internal resume and future strategy/investment groups will beg to have me on their team.

Man in the Elevator

While on my adventures, my elevator stopped at the 14th floor. A man got on. He was about 40, 5’8 3/4″ and 168.6 lbs. I managed to notice this while admiring my semi-good hair day in the reflective panel over the elevator buttons. The doors closed and I became aware of some rythmic noises coming from his corner of the elevator. Tap tap tap, whap whap, scratch scratch. I looked over and the man in the elevator was doing his version of STOMP in the elevator corner with his hands. It was like he couldn’t help himself. And then, in his caffeine induced hysteria, he started slapping his foot alternately against the wall and the floor of the elevator. “What is UP, Captain Crazy??” I want to ask–but I refrain. After all, I have had days where I was running laps through the halls of Starcom, trying to burn some extra energy–it happens when the company gets us all hopped up on caffeine.

On the prowl…

So I had a salad for lunch (good Emmy). And I had a snack of popcorn (aren’t we just a good girl? yes we are!). But now my tummy is growling. And I have finished off all the sweet tarts. And work has slowed down for a minute…. and no one has free food from meetings… COOKIE TIME!!! To the elevators I go!

But no worries, all you points counters out there… I share with my cube mate.

Gotta jet. Chow!

Holy Tearers.

Okay. I was riding the train this morning (I missed the 7:20… the 7:24… the 7:51… but managed to get on the 7:54) and there was a guy sitting one row up on my left. He had a halo of hair that was presumably fluffed up to hide the fact that the quantity of hair was quickly diminishing. But what caught my attention about this guy was that he was a tearer.

Not terror, but tearer. Occasionally we get these people on the train. They really should have their own special car. Or maybe they shouldn’t be allowed on the morning trains. Tearers, for those of you now anxious to know, are individuals who read the paper, find a catchy article and then make a big production out of ripping the article from the paper.

This is annoying. On any morning train, people are trying to get a few more winks of sleep or mentally ready themselves for the upcoming day. When someone loudly tears into the paper, you can see a few of the slack jawed, sleeping people on the train straighten up. “What IS this?” they all think. “Who does this guy think he is??” Suddenly the pleasant morning train ride becomes a nightmare. Nails on the chalkboard, if you will.

This practice also begs several questions. I know that our economy is a touch tight these days, but I am SURE these tearers can at least BORROW scissors from someone once they get to their desks. Is it that hard to carry ONE section of the newspaper with you to work? Is it worth sacrificing everyone else’s lives for one lousy article? I thought not.

There is something sacred about that early morning train ride. Something that transcends generations. My mother rode the train and she holds fast to the “silence in the mornings” ritual. Even cab drivers are hesitant to lay on the horn in the morning. So where do these tearers get off?

My recommendation for these fiendish individuals–wait until the 5 o’clock train. You can even drink beer and tear the crap out of whatever you want. On the 5 o’clock, no one cares. Talk, laugh, drink, play cards. Live it up.

But not on my morning train ride.

Lost my train of thought…

While sitting in my class presentations today, I thought of a whitty blog update. It had to do with the weightloss webpage… which I will start next week, after I finish the other half of my chocolate frosted krispy kreme donut. I still have 4 more hideous lbs to go before I reach my goal–sigh.

Anyway, my train of thought was completely derailed during the second to last scheduled presentation. Jessie, a girl in my class, had just finished presenting and was waiting for her group to finish. She was standing behind the podium, near the wall unit which houses the computer. While we were watching her group member finish the presentation, Jessie slumped to the ground. On her way down, she crashed into the wall unit and slammed her head against several shelves.

At first, I had to bite back a giggle. I am wearing heals today and had envisioned a similar fate for myself. I have a tendency to balance on one foot, sway and do other annoying and dangerous things. Anyway, I figured that she had tripped on a cord or lost her balance. Plus, with the rush of adrenaline from presenting, she could have been shaky. Regardless, Jessie went down, but never recovered. Michelle, our PIT professor went to her immediately and established that she was breathing, but not conscious. They tried putting cold water on her neck and face, but to no avail. Someone in the room called security while the rest of us sat still, not sure whether to move or not. No one wanted to be a nuisance, but at the same time everyone wanted to make sure she was okay.

When security arrived, Jessie was still not conscious. She was breathing, but that was it. It was the strangest thing because while she was presenting, she seemed to be doing fine. I was even admiring her white blouse with a pretty flower on it. We all know that I pay attention to the important things.

Anyway, the net net is that I was going to have some sort of witty reply, but I got nothin’. I think I’m going to go get a smoke. Wait. I don’t smoke. Maybe I’ll go up to the Starbar (yes, my office has a bar) and I will inhale someone else’s second hand smoke… hmm..

By for now…

Walk o' Shame

I have a walk of shame. Well, sadly, I have two.

My first walk of shame is from my desk to the beverage station. For those of you who have not heard my tales of woe from the beverage station–Leo Burnett/Starcom supplies all of their lovely employees with soda. All you can drink–for free!!! Who DOESN’T love that?? But unfortunately I have worn a path from my desk to the station and back. This walk has resulted in many a day where I bounce giddily in my seat and annoy my cubemate.

My second walk of shame is from my desk to the Admin. Assistant’s desk. This walk has little or nothing to do with the AA–and everything to do with the table in front of her desk. This glorious table occasionally features the leftovers from meetings–huge muffins, assorted cookies, yummy bagels, cookies, fruit, pizza–you name it!

This second walk of shame is becoming a problem. I didn’t realize HOW MUCH of a problem until the AA stopped by my desk on her way to the bathroom to let me know the Proctor and Gamble team had a meeting and the table was loaded with yummy treats. While I was slightly embarassed by my reputation, I was also grateful to be given such a prime opportunity to raid the goody table. If she didn’t tell me, who knows what delicious treats would have passed me by!

That, my friends, would have been the real shame.

Happy eatin’!