Well, thanks to the fine folks that make progesterone supplements and the delightful prescription that my doc writes me every month, Frank found himself on an all-expenses paid trip to crazyville. This 8th layer of hell included only myself, crying and leaking snot all over my face. What did he do to deserve such a horrific punishment? Well, he was home. Since I try my hardest to not go crazy all over his a$$ while he’s out of town, and I try not to lose it on vacations – that pretty much only leaves the first night that he is home for me to unload.
Hello, Frank. Welcome to your worst nightmare.
On tap for tonight we have just a large dose of fertility blues with a side of emotional baggage. And if you’re interested in dessert, we can certainly arrange for some self-pity a la mode.
What brings on crazy, Emily? I’m going to go with the progesterone supplement I took tonight. See, all day was fine. Good day. Solid. I took the supplement when I got home and I was almost in tears watching The Lovely Bones movie trailer with Dor. And then we watched Chuck, an otherwise upbeat show – and I almost lost it watching Chuck’s sister get married.
The good thing is that I know it’s not entirely me. I know I would normally be in a lot more control of my feelings. But man, the thought of doing this for another week, or even doing this for another month – that’s daunting. Especially since I am fighting the urge to compare myself to others – those who have had it easier or those who have had it worse – for either justification of my anger (the former) or comfort (the latter). And neither is the right answer.
Frank is home, which makes this easier to do than to do it alone. Thank God for Frank. 🙂