the adventures of ed **UPDATE**

Well, as promised, here is the scandelous dish on our dear pup Ed.

I came home the other night and walked into our bedroom.  Something seemed out of place:

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it initially…

But then I realized what was different…. what was … well, wrong.  Very. Very. Wrong.

Apparently Ed had raided my underwear drawer.

And I think he was just a little bit embarrassed about it.

I guess we know what Ed does when I’m at work…

Aw, Ed, you silly puppy!

***Update***

First things first – I did not notice that Ed’s hands were in the underwear until my dear friend Jamie pointed it out.  woops!

Second – I would also like to say that I did not, in my loneliness while Frank was gone, come up with this underwear scenario.  I have NOT fallen off of the edge of reality (yet).  Frank dressed Ed up before he left for work last week to make me laugh.  I do not ACTUALLY think that Ed does this all on his own.

three things: what I love on TV

… which could also be titled “TV Confessions.”

I wonder if Jesus reads my blog?

Well, regardless, here we go (sorry Jesus!):

thing 1: Kendra

I’m not kidding.  I love this show.  I can’t believe that I am putting this in writing, but that show ALWAYS makes me laugh.  And I believe, perhaps naively, that Kendra and her husband, Hank, are going to make it work.  It just seems like he loves her too much for it not to work… well, ok, I really don’t know anything about them other than what they edit the show for… but whatever – I LOVE THE SHOW.  It’s my TV sugar: doesn’t give me much value, but fills up some time.

thing 2: sci-fi

I love, love, LOVE sci fi.  Not the channel, but pretty much every show with a sci fi theme.  Frank and I watch an embarrassingly  long list of shows together – I’ve actually been banned from introducing Frank to anything else at this point.  We watch Chuck, Fringe, Flash Foward, Lost, and V. And I definitely think I’m missing something here…

thing 3: Greek

I know.  A show about collegiate Greek life.  I watch it.  I love it.  I’ve watched every. single. episode.  And really, there’s nothing you can do to stop me – except maybe take the show off the air.  Please don’t take the show off of the air.  waaah!!!

I need to get a hobby…

meet ed

Ed is our stuffed dog that has sat on our bed every day since our first married Valentine’s day in February 2004.  Ed has traveled from Naperville to Milwaukee to Oak Creek to storage (woops, sorry Ed) to the suburbs of Chicago.

Ed enjoys his time on the bed, I think.  I mean, he’s never complained.

And he’s really the perfect dog.  He doesn’t bark, he doesn’t shed, he doesn’t pee on our carpet, chew our furniture, or pass gas .

He’s a simple dog, really.

Hi, I’m Ed. How YOU doin’?

I’d lick you if I had a tongue!


Ahhh!!  Bright lights!  It’s the paparazzi!

I didn’t ASK to be famous.  I mean, it just sort of happened.  I’m a good looking dog, what can I say – oh, hold on, it’s my agent… Yo, dollface, how YOU doin’?

Ah that Ed, he’s such a card.

three things: on the ice

We love, love, LOVE the Blackhawks.

And we are NOT fair weather fans.  We used to go when it was just us and the Wirtz family at the games.

And even though it was just us and them at the games, they never bothered to send a Christmas card.

Hrmph.

Anyway, since we love, love, LOVE the Blackhawks, there are a few things you should know about our familial obsession.

Thing One: Dance Like You Mean It!

Whenever the Hawks score a goal and the Chelsea Dagger goal music is played, Frank and I give eachother “high fives” and dance.

Yeah, that’s right.  We dance.

And I don’t care who knows about it.

When a goal is scored, you freaking stand up.  And dance.

Don’t fuss with me.

Thing Two:  NO TALKING (when the puck is on the ice)

When Frank and I were first dating, I reviewed some fun facts about hockey to prepare for our first hockey game date together.

And I shared this information with him liberally.

Unfortunately, I would only remember to tell him about the fun facts when the puck was on the ice.

Our relationship almost ended before it began because of my disrespect of the “NO TALKING” rule.

Thing Three: There is No Such Thing as Lady Like at a Hawks Game

If you ever attend a hockey game with me, you should prepare yourself.

I may seem like a nice person, but, figuratively speaking, the gloves come off when I go to Hawks game.

There isn’t a hit too hard (well, except for the Wisnewski hit on Seabs, but that’s a discussion for a different day) or a fight too wild.

I’ve been known to yell, on more than one occasion, “TAKE THE GLOVES OFF AND GET HIM! GET HIM!”

Does this concern Frank?

I don’t really know.

I’m too busy yelling to notice.

three things: marriage edition

I was just thinking today, outloud, about how far Frank and I have come since we were first married.

I’ve only really witnessed a few marriages up close and personal – my parents and my maternal grand parents.

And both were marriages were/are very fiery, passionate, yet humorous, pairings.

I guess they raised my tolerance level for my own marriage.  Which is good because, man, Frank really tested my limits.

And from time to time, I tested his…

Here are three things about our marriage:

Example 1.  The Shower.

When Frank and I were first married, he liked to test the boundaries (many of you who know me in real life know these stories – so you can feel free to skip ahead).

Frank thought it was quite novel that now that we were married, it was for LIFE.  And he liked to see exactly how long I would let him live.

His first test of the longevity of our union was simple: pour cold water on me over the top of the shower.  Awe-some.

Unfortunately for him, I got wise and I could hear him running the water in the kitchen and yell at him pre-emptively.

When that got old (which was rather quickly), he decided to go for the grand-daddy of all shower pranks: he threw cold water over the top, flushed the toilet and turned off the lights.

And he’s still alive today.

Example 2. The Bugs.

When I am stressed out, I dream about weird things.  When we were first married, I had a very stressful job and we had a bug infestation. Specifically, the bug infestation was a colony of earwigs.  You know, the ugly bugs with pinchers on them?  In one night, Frank killed 19 of them in our master bedroom.

It was nasty.

As a result, I would dream about bugs crawling on me and I would wake up at 4 a.m., turn on all the lights in our room and pull back the covers.

Thankfully, the only thing I found in the bed was a very confused husband staring back at me.

One night, as we were falling asleep, Frank gently brushed my leg with his finger, mimicking the sensation of a bug crawling on my thigh.

Squealing, I jumped out of bed, turned on the lights and pulled back the covers.  Frank grinned back at me, proud of his accomplishment.

“FINE!” I said, snatching my pillow off of the bed.  “I will sleep on the COUCH!”

Sidebar: If you know nothing about Frank, you should just know that he HATES being startled, especially by people jumping out at him. Continuing on with the story…

As I stormed down the hall, Frank realized that he went too far and followed me out to the family room.

What he didn’t know is that I ducked into the laundry room.

As he passed the dark laundry room on his way to the also dark family room, I jumped out at him, yelling.

Frank screamed.  I smiled.  We both went back to bed and eventually fell asleep.

Example 3. The Penny.

There are a few things that happen in our marriage that Frank and I are fully aware of, but we don’t say anything about them.  I can’t tell you about the most current examples of this because, well, Frank reads this blog and it would break the code of silence prematurely.

When we were first married, there was a penny on the floor of the kitchen.  I’m not sure how it got there, but when I noticed it I wondered if Frank would pick it up.

And Frank wondered if I would pick it up.

For months, we walked around this penny in the kitchen.  I even washed the floors around the penny.

We said not a word to each other about the penny.

One day Frank’s mom was visiting and she saw the penny and bent down to pick it up -but I stopped her.

“Oh, no, go ahead and leave that penny there.  I’m waiting to see if Frank will pick it up,” I explained.

She sort of cocked her head to one side and looked at me, puzzled.

She still does that.  Our marriage often causes people to pause and wonder.

And I don’t blame them.