Frank and I have just been enjoying a lovely sleepy Saturday. We’re sitting on the couch, Frank is playing video games and I have my legs on his lap.
So delicious. I love it.
Frank
not much to say
Well, I haven’t updated much. I suppose there are many reasons.
In no particular order:
1. My computer battery is on life support. I am afraid to move the computer from it’s current location.
2. The computer’s current location is in the basement.
3. I am a little lazy about going downstairs.
4. Well, it’s just so out of the way, you know?
5. I’m all cozy upstairs, snuggling in a blanket and the computer is downstairs. And not just downstairs. I have to walk through the game room and the laundry room and past the shelves full of all the stuff I need to go through (argh – guilt!) in order to get to the office.
6. Once in the office, I often realize that the fountain needs water. And then I get distracted by all of my Mary Kay product… such pretty colors! and smells!
7. With all the snow, I’ve been busy watching FK use the snow blower.
8. I’m lazy and there’s nothing to report on so many fronts. I worry that my blog will become a chronicle of me getting up, going to work and coming home and watching Ugly Betty.
9. And then I remember that Ugly Betty is on the verge of being canceled.
10. Oh, and I”m very distracted by John Mayer’s terrible Playboy interview. What was that all about?
Valentine’s Day is on Sunday. I think that Valentine’s Day is as much about love as it is about true love.
I am fortunate enough to have found my soulmate at a young age. And I’m even more fortunate that he still laughs at my lame jokes and weird facial expressions and noises.
I am also so blessed to have amazing family and friends that I love very much.
We are drowning in an abundance of love.
That’s pretty cool.
Did I mention that our basement might be haunted?
Yes, I think it is. It is haunted by mountains of clothes to fold and paperwork to sort. I guess that is reason 11 why I don’t like to come down to my computer and update my blog.
So yeah. Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you get to spend the day with amazing, wonderful people that you love deeply.
Life is so sweet.
soundtracks
I married a music-phile.
Ask Frank about nearly any song from most genres (he’s a little shaky on the country music scene…) and he can likely give you the name of the album and the year it was released and when it hit its peak.
It’s pretty much amazing.
He plays a game at bars with friends where they all put a dollar in the center of the table and when the next song plays, the first person to correctly name the artist and song, slaps their hands on the pile of singles and wins it.
I would never play this game with him because I know better.
When Frank is home, music is playing in all of the rooms of the house.
He loves Dispatch and OAR and U2 and Smashing Pumpkins and Owl City.
He loves music that he can listen to sitting on a patio at a bar or restaurant, leaning back in his chair and enjoying a beer.
Because of Frank, music has become the soundtrack of our lives.
When we started dating in 2002, John Mayer songs bring me back to that post-college summer that we enjoyed together.
It was the summer that Frank worked 12-14 hour days and sent me sweet texts between shifts flying traffic observation.
It was the summer that we went for walks, saw Mike & Joe at several venues, and I burned a few dinners trying to impress him.
And there are songs that bring me back to the summer of our engagement in 2003 – a summer that alternately went by so quickly and so slowly. If you look back at the summer of 2003, most of my posts were just marking time until our wedding. I couldn’t wait to be married to Frank! I think of OAR’s “Crazy Game of Poker” and Zwan’s “Honestly” when I think of that summer.
This past summer was a challenge for us, but was so sweet at the same time.
Frank was flying, I was at a job by the end of the summer that I loved, and we were both working on our running. We would sit in the screened-in porch, eating dinner and watching the sun set over the field behind our house. It was so blissful for us.
Frank introduced me to a song over the summer that makes me think of peaceful summer nights and God’s abundant grace. I’ve been thinking about this song a lot lately – partly because I miss the summer and mostly because I have been reminded so much of all of the ways that God has blessed us – both big and small.
The song is by Dispatch and it’s called “The General.”
there was a decorated general with
a heart of gold, that likened him to
all the stories he told
of past battles, won and lost, and
legends of old a seasoned veteran in
his own time
on the battlefield, he gained
respectful fame with many medals
of bravery and stripes to his name
he grew a beard as soon as he could
to cover the scars on his face
and always urged his men on
but on the eve of a great battle
with the infantry in dream
the old general tossed in his sleep
And wrestled with its meaning
he awoke from the night
to tell what he had seen
and walked slowly out of his tent
all the men held tall with their
chests in the air, with the courage in
their blood and a fire in their stare
it was a gray morning and they all
wondered how they would fare
till the old general told them to go home
[CHORUS:]
He said:
I have seen the others
and I have discovered
that this fight is not worth fighting
I have seen their mothers
and I will no other
to follow me where I’m going
So,take a shower, shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
Take a shower, shine your shoes
you got no time to lose
you are young men you must be living
go now you are forgiven
happy 2010, world!
I hope that everyone has a safe and festive new year celebration! Tonight was the first new years in 7 years that FK and I weren’t together. That’s ok, though – we chatted on the phone and I spent the evening with wonderful friends who made the evening fun and carefree. Loved it!
Thanks to Allison, Luke, Meghan, Mark, Dorothy, Erik, Margy, Abby, Eddie, Steve and all the rest of the wonderful people at Allison’s who made the new year celebration bright!
2009 review
This year was dominated by a few themes:
Old Made New Again
This theme happened in several ways. We moved back to Illinois in 2008, not sure what it would really be like. What has happened is that many of our friendships that were old have become new again. There are so many examples of this regeneration, but specifically I think of one of my longest friendships with Miss Allison Claire. When we were little, we played together nearly every day. There was a rule established that we couldn’t call or go over to each other’s homes before 9 a.m. – and this was established to save our mothers from losing their minds! As we got older, we went separate ways and our friendship was basically on life support because we rarely saw each other. Since we’ve moved back, Allison and I see each other nearly every week! She is truly a joy to spend time with and one of the most positive people I know. I experienced similar rebirths with other friends – and it is awesome! I feel surrounded by wonderful women that I love. It is awesome!
But this theme didn’t just end with friendships, it also carried on to one of the most important relationships in my life – my marriage. Frank and I celebrated our 6th year of marriage. At a time when many marriages start feeling stale, our marriage is still fresh and interesting. One of the pastors at church said the other week, “Presumed familiarity breeds unfamiliarity” – so true! Even though Frank and I know each other so well, we keep learning new things about each other – and with each other. Sure, it hasn’t all been rosy this year, but that’s ok.
Being Humbled
This year has also been the year of being humbled. Yeah, I’ve had to swallow my pride on a few fronts. Medically speaking, I’ve been exposed in just about every way possible. Blood draws, invasive ultra-sounds and interesting procedures involving catheters. That’s pretty humbling.
It’s also been humbling because we’ve come face to face with some of our biggest fears and had to ask for help along the way. We’ve had to acknowledge that many of the things we experienced were outside of our control – like Frank’s work schedule and our infertility issues. While we’ve known logically for quite some time that God is bigger than us, these situations have caused us to come face-to-face with our own limitations and humanity. Or something like that. The point is, we continue to be reminded that while there are a great many things we can do, we are ultimately not the ones in control. We are small while God is great.
Ha ha ha
We’ve also been blessed with lots of joy in the midst of crazy times. Tonight as I finished writing this, Frank was sitting next to me and every time I took a sip of the Diet Pomegranate 7-Up, Frank made slurping sounds trying to get me to spit out my drink. The result was that he made himself laugh so much he couldn’t even drink. Special times, for sure. And if we can laugh in the midst of all the stuff we’re going through, that is truly a blessing.
With almost 24 hours left in 2009, it is impossible not to recognize the amazing blessings we’ve had this year: jobs, shelter, family, and friends. I’m excited to move forward into 2010 and to see all of the new things God has in store for us. I wish you all a very safe and happy new year!
See you on the flip side…
merry christmas!
merry christmas from frank & em.
side note…
So I checked to see what I was blogging about last year in December. I only wrote one blog: Snow. In that blog I said something like, “Well, once we get our stuff put away and a light fixture hung in the dining area, it will feel like home.”
Thanks to Frank, we finally got the light fixture hung this week.
Welcome home, K fam, welcome home.
when to say when
Knowing when to say “when” is not my strong suit. Ask my husband.
I am the queen of bad timing and timing misjudgments.
My timing issues tend to center around my inability to leave the office, but have also seeped into other areas, including when to leave a party, when to leave church, when to leave dinner, when to go to bed… etc, etc.
And when to let go in an argument.
I have to say I’m getting better at the last one.
Ask my younger sister Cait, she’ll tell you that I used to always try to get the last word in ALWAYS. I’ve been like that since she’s known me. Her first day home from the hospital as an infant and she was like, “darn, girlfriend, have a bottle and CHILL!”
When should I let go of the fertility biz? When is enough truly enough? How many shots, scans, opinions, tests and screenings can I handle?
This isn’t to say that I think we are at the end of our time in fertility treatment world. I’m not ready to give up yet. I know Frank isn’t ready to give up either.
But I know there is a chance that a time might come where I might have to recognize that we fought the good fight and there is no more we can do or pray for, at least regarding having a biological child.
At the end of the day when I am beyond tired, that is usually when I decide to bake cookies, wrap Christmas gifts and wash the floor. When I should rest, I find that I am too tired to sit still.
That is why I worry that God will give me all the cues that we cannot go any farther, and I will miss the cues because I am too tired to see them – too focused on searching for the solution, the next option and the next treatment to realize that the game is over and the crowd went home.
After reading a few blogs about women at varying stages of this process, with several of them undergoing treatment for three to five years, I just can’t even fathom what that is like to go through that emotional and physical marathon.
I am amazed by God’s tremendous grace and blessing. God gave me a husband who is an expert at knowing when to say “when.” Frank puts 100% into everything he does, but he knows when a situation is done. He knows when the party is winding down, when the game is over and when it’s time to turn the lights out and go to bed.
So we’ll keep chugging along and I’m hopeful that if I miss God’s cues, Frank will see them.
oh christmas tree…
Monday Frank and I set up our Christmas tree:
I wonder what will be under the Christmas tree this year for dear Frank?
Probably not a 747.
It’s just a bit out of my price range.
Maybe a pan of bread pudding?
Maybe a year of endless back scratches – wait he already has that. hmmm.. .
before october is too distant of a memory…
Frank and I went downtown and took a self-guided Devil in the White City Tour. The statue below is 1/3 the size of the original statue that greeted guests at the 1893 World’s Fair. Interesting facts: The Museum of Science and Industry building is an exact replica of one of the many World’s Fair buildings (if you’ve been there, you know how huge it is), and the Ferris Wheel debuted at the World’s Fair in direct competition with the Eiffel Tower which had been unveiled at a previous World’s Fair.
We drove around a little bit, too…
Frank looking for the next stop on our historic journey. Or our journey of historic proportions.
We actually drove by President Obama’s house, but this is all you can see…
What a lovely city we live in:
That is all. For now. 🙂
emmy kay and co. 