Are also known affectionately as Baby A and Baby B!
Yes, that’s right, the K-Fam will be doubling in March with the introduction of twins to the mix! We are obviously very excited and very nervous. We are 12 weeks along today, which seems miraculous to both of us.
While we are elated at where we are at, we are also very mindful of the long, hard road we traveled. I am acutely aware that while it seemed like an eternity (18 months+), it was a far shorter experience than what many people I know have endured. Life is a fragile, delicate thing. The creation and continuation of it is in the hands of a creator far greater than ourselves. Why some people struggle and why others don’t, is something that I cannot begin to fathom or explain.
Why it was now, why it was us, why we’re having twins – I really don’t know. I am glad, of course, but still aching for all of the couples that are longing to bring home their baby from the hospital.
Over the course of my twenties, I’ve heard nearly every miraculous pregnancy story and practically every tragic fertility experience. I have had friends and families lose babies late in pregnancies and I’ve had friends and family that seem to have no problem getting and staying pregnant.
Fertility was a major struggle for us. We’ve experienced other struggles in our 7 year marriage, but this was the biggest. Infertility caused us to pause and wonder about the legacy that we are leaving behind – biologically and otherwise. It made me think about the people that have come before us – the giants whose shoulders we stand on, as my father in law would say – and wonder at the future generations that might not ever exist to look back at us.
I think about that a lot because we truly live in a culture that is so self-focused. I am intrigued by the generations before us who thought of us, knowing they would never meet us, but were so driven by the determination to make the world better for a future time that they would never experience. I wanted to influence future generations – provide another building block to the foundation.
I struggled a lot with the ideas of God having a plan and “everything happening for a reason.” In the midst of such heartache and sadness, it seemed unfathomable that such trite-sounding concepts could be true. I did not doubt God’s ability or greatness, but I wondered a lot at why this was such a hard road and why He seemed to be so silent so often. And maybe I just have to be content with the idea that this is the road He gave us and this is the road we had to go down to become the people we are supposed to be.
I look at these two little miracles and am amazed that they even exist. I am hopeful that this is just the beginning of a new great chapter in our lives. A difficult chapter I am sure. A chapter that does not involve a lot of sleep. A chapter that does involve a lot of crying… from all of us… Many people have reminded us that it will be hard, but many more have reminded us that it will also be worth it.
So yes, big changes in store for the K-Fam!