Frank and I are quirky. Not overtly quirky. Subtly quirky.
And nothing is quite as quirky for us as the somewhat strange ways we say “I love you.”
thing one: making the bed.
When we were first married, I told my new, sweet husband that I loved it when the bed was made.
I neglected to tell him that even though I loved it, I really only loved it when SOMEONE ELSE made the bed.
Frank, trying so dutifully to be the good husband, made the bed frequently, all the while wondering when exactly I was planning on making the bed.
Finally, after about a year of his dutiful bed making, he finally pointed out to me that for someone who loves it when the bed is made, I certainly don’t do much to make it happen, and I realized (insert lightbulb moment here!) that Frank ALSO liked it when the bed was made.
As Frank has been traveling more, even if I can’t do anything else, I try so hard to at least make the bed when he comes home. And when Frank leaves, he makes the bed for me.
Just seeing the bed made, with the silly stuffed dog in the middle, and I know that he loves me.
thing two: tm,a. mgd.lyb.bbq.
To you, those may only be letters. Letters that don’t mean anything.
But to me, those letters sum up nearly 8 years of togetherness with Frank.
When we were first dating, if Frank did something to annoy me, he would ask me how much I hated him. I would say, “This much” and he would say, “Which way?” and I would point in no particular direction and say, “This much, that way!”
But as we fell in love, on of us would ask “how much do you love me?” (or, sometimes, “how much?”) and the other would respond, “this much!” and the first would say, “which way?” and the other would say “always!”
When we were married, we each engraved something on the inside of each other’s rings. We didn’t tell each other what we were engraving, so after we were married, we both pulled off of our rings only to discover that we both engraved, “This much, always.” And now, for short, Frank will often text me “tm, a.”
Along the same vein, I would call out to Frank as I got out of the car at work “Make good decisions!” (or mgd for short) It became a game to see who could say it last as we were hanging up the phone or jumping out of the car.
And when Frank is taking off at the airport, he will often just text me “leaving ATL [Atlanta], LYB!” And of course, as anyone could guess, he is just saying “Love you, bye!”
But the icing on the cake of our love story is BBQ. What does it mean?
Yeah, that’s right. One day Frank texted me “tm,a. mgd.lyb.bbq.”
“BBQ?” I asked him.
“Yeah, BBQ,” he replied casually.
“As in barbecue?”
So when I see this long train wreck of mangled letters, I smile. It’s how we say, “I love you.”
thing three: the game.
Frank and I play a lot of games with each other. Weird games.
These games keep our marriage light and playful.
But let’s be real, we’re still a little bit weird.
One of the games is that everything becomes a game.
If he taps me, I tap him back.
Not wanting me to get the last word in – he taps me lightly, just so I might not notice.
And I tap him back, even lighter.
And we do this until one of us finally breaks down and laughs.
Usually it’s Frank who breaks down first.
I’m just telling it like it is.
…… tap….. shhhh.
And in our own way, it’s how we say “I love you.”