So FK and I decided to go see a marriage coach.
Our marriage is not in danger. Not even close.
As I mentioned in the last post, it has been stronger than ever.
But we recognize that we are getting into an area where we need some extra coaching and training to help us get through a sticky time.
And goodness, was last night refreshing! Dr. Dave pointed out some areas where we both need to be more intentional about how we talk to eachother.
Like, when I just want to vent or talk through a problem, I need to say, “Hey, Frank, I just need to vent. And at the end, I might want your opinion.”
And if Frank has only energy to help me with one thing, then he will say, “Emily, I only have energy for one thing. What is the one thing that I can do right now and be insured success?”
Sure, this is all intuitive, I suppose. I think a lot of women would say, “Well, he should just KNOW that I am venting. WTF is wrong with him that he doesn’t just KNOW?”
I think that’s where I have to put down pride and just say, “this is what I need” because I have to care more about the health of our marriage than my own ego/pride.
It’s sort of like watching what I eat. I really don’t want to have to write down what I eat and make good decisions. I want to eat a pie and lose 10 lbs. But if I am really serious about losing weight, I have to adjust my habits.
We really want our marriage to operate at its best, even in the most difficult conditions. Like I said, we are doing alright, but it was good to have some coaching. It was good to have Dr. Dave say, “This is what you need to do.”
If you’ve never gone to a marriage coach, I suggest it. Even if everything is going ok, you can never have too many tools in your tool belt. And in a world that doesn’t promote healthy marriages, it’s nice to go someplace to be encouraged and supported.
Frank is already practicing. “Emily, I only have energy for one thing. Either we watch FlashForward or Mad Men.”
We watched FlashForward.
I love my husband!