Frank (panting, breathing into a brown paper bag): I [pant, pant] think that I [pant, pant] lost my airport IDs.

Me: Wow, that’s not good.

Frank (eyes rolling back into head): No, it [gasping for air] isn’t.

Me: Did you check your coat pocket?

Frank: Of course I did. I checked everywhere. I checked in my pockets, the car, I called Panera, I called my mom. It’s gone. Gone. [sobbing]

Me: Are you sure it’s not in your coat pocket?

Frank: I told you, I checked there.

About 1 hour later.

Frank (after coming to from passing out): Oh, look, my IDs were in my left pocket. See, normally I put them in my right pocket. But wow, I really threw me for a loop. I never thought I’d put it in the left pocket.

Me: [sigh]