The Stay-at-Home Moms vs. the Working Moms debate has intrigued me for the past 4 years. It may not be a reality I have to face at this moment – we won’t have kids for some time – but it is something I deal with on a daily basis because the people I work with are parents. Sometimes they come into work exhausted because after working full time, they still have children to tend to and homes to manage. Sometimes you hear conversations on the phone that would just break you heart,”I’m sorry honey, I can’t come home right now, I’ll give you a kiss when I get home. You be good for ::insert person::. Love you, miss you.”
Seeing the long nights away from home – last minute business trips – crying babies – exhausted parents trying to pull it together – the everyday question: who will get the kids from daycare and who will make dinner? Even when everything works smoothly, I know one couple who come home tired, feed the kids, put them to bed and then sit opposite eachother at the dining room table on their individual laptops. Is this worth it?
So first, how do you make the best decision for you? I don’t think it can be made in a vacuum – you have to know your spouse. You have to trust them truly with your life and well-being. Second, how do we women live in harmony? How do Stay-at-Home moms drop the “holier than thou” tone while Working Moms lose the “I am more important than you” attitude? How do women work together to help eachother – whether they decide to be working moms or the stay at home variety? Anyway, just something to think about. I leave you with this quote from the book, Mommy Wars:
Working moms might conceivably be grateful to moms who stay home and run our schools, our communities, a good chunk of our kids’ worlds. And stay-at-homes might arguably appreciatae the working moms staying late to get the big promotions, fighting to increase women’s presence on company boards and the front page of The Wall Street Journal, campaigning to win elections. Without the money, the power and the loudspeaker successful careers bring, women will never have the collective bargaining power to make the world better for ourselves, our children, andall the women who can’t leave abusive husbands, the ones who wear veils, the moms who earn less than minimum wage cleaning houses and don’t have choices about birth control or prenatal care or any other kind of care.