I’m not going to pull my blog. My concerned minions (ie. Kate A) were questioning my previous contemplative post and I am here to stay that I was just more-or-less ranting about the way that work has sucked all sorts of creativity out of my brain and has replaced it with terminology that makes me a social outcast at any cocktail party. I mean, it’s more exciting to tell people that you are a lobotomist (is that the term?) than it is to tell them that you do what I do because I haven’t figured out how to tell people what I do in an intriguing way that leads them to ask me more questions. I am thinking of telling people I am a “Lead Strategist in World Domination and Brain Washing” because I really think that raises questions. Questions like, “Wow, what kind of degree do you need for that?” (Marketing) “Will it always require a bloody coup in order for you to be promoted after a certain point?” (Yes, sadly, although I will try to minimize casualties) and the classic “So, um, like, do you get great tchotckes in that or what?” (Yes, plundering the universe does have it’s perks)
Seriously, though, why did I have to marry someone who has a far more interesting job than me? Here’s how it goes at all cocktail parties and any social interactions:
Host: Please meet Frank and Emily. Frank is a pilot and Emily is in advertising.
Guest: Wow, a pilot, really?
Frank: Yes, actually.
Guest: No kidding. Who do you fly for? What kind of plane? Where do you go? You are the most fascinating person I have ever met. Would you go home with me?
Frank: (Thinking long and hard and then remembering that I am standing there) I, uh, can’t go home with you tonight because I have baggage, er, a wife. She’s in advertising. (sigh)
Guest: Wife? What’s her name? Is she here? (Looking around)
Frank: Yeah. She’s right here.
Frank: Standing right here. Wave, Em.
ME: (Waving) Over here, me. Emily. I’m married to the pilot.
Guest: What is it like being married to a pilot? Are you worried about his dangerous job? Do you feel like you won the marital lottery finding a hot pilot husband? Do you know any of his friends?
ME: Um. Yeah. It’s great.
Guest: You must love it. What is it you do again?
ME: Lead World Domination Strategist, actually.
Guest: That’s nice. Is that like a bank or something? Frank, let’s go back to talking about you.
Frank: Of course.
When I was trying to figure out my major, I really should have considered that I would have to talk about my career for the rest of my life. ::Sigh::