A day in the life of Frank

6:03 am – The alarm goes off. She moves over, hits the snooze button, pulls the covers up to her chin and is back to sleep.

6:14 am – Repeat above.

6:29 am – “I am getting out of bed. I swear. Frank, tell me to get out of bed.”

“Emily, get out of bed.”


6:45 am – “Well, I guess I missed my work out.”

“I guess so. Move over.”

7:00 am – She gets out of bed, finally. I take her side of the bed – it’s warmer.

7:55 am – “Well, Frank, I’m going to work, I love you. Good bye.”

“Bye Babe. You want me to drive you?”

“No, it’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s only 22degrees out. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll give you a ride.”

“Oh, okay.”

8:05 am – The house is empty. Begin morning ritual. Pour cereal. Scratch. Pour orange juice. Stretch. Watch music videos – this is the only time of day that they play those things. Scratch.

9:00 am – Scratch.

9:15 am – Phone rings – it is wife.

“So, what are you doing?”

“Nothing. Guess what day it is?”

“What day is it?”

“K Family Naked Day.”

“Frank. Please at least shower today.”


“I mean it.”

“Mmhmm, after West Wing.”

“It’s a deal.”

11:59 am – Phone rings – it is wife.

“Please tell me that you have showered?”

“Even if it is a lie?”


“You know, CJ really sells herself short sometimes. She’s really attractive.”

“Okay, Frank, CJ is not a real person. Did you see the check list I left for you?”


“Please, please, do something on it.”


“Is that flushing I hear?”


“Gross. I have to go. I have a meeting.”


4:45 pm – Panic has settled in. Shower. Dress. Shave. Brush teeth. (well, rinse)

Oh, to be a pilot on reserve 🙂

Frank’s response.

One thought on “A day in the life of Frank

  1. Pingback: commercial break « Frank's Beans

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