Last night we all went to Famous Freddie’s to celebrate Jamie’s sister’s birthday. Frank and I got there early to grab some eats before a night of drinking began. Frank and the beef sandwich (mooooo!) and I had the BBQ Chicken (bawk, bawk!) (noises sold separately). It was cheap and yummy. Actually, my diet coke cost more than my sandwich. How screwie is that?

After we finished eating and scoping out the crowd, Dorothy, Erik, Craig, Jamie, Debbie, Michelle and Chris arrived. We heard about the rockin’ downstairs area and decided to check it out. The music was pumping and there were a few free tables so we set up camp.

“ANY LADIES WEARING THONGS TONIGHT!?” screamed the DJ.

“Woooooooooooo!” replied a bunch of ladies in the crowd in an apparent tempt to lure in hook ups. The men who were previously standing idly by, rushed to the stage to meet these women.

“Come on up to the stage, you thong clad women!!” encouraged the DJ. All of a sudden the “Wooo”ing females in the crowd went silent. Hmmm, they collectively thought, I’m not really wearing a thong–those things hurt like nobody’s business! There were a few brave (drunk?) women who climbed up on the stage. “WOOO!” they yelled and then the women stood there, waiting for the DJ to do something. The DJ scratched his head. The two women on stage looked at him expectantly. This thong idea didn’t work as well as he had thought it would.

“Any men out there with great chests?”

Now all the men in the audience who had expected to see some thong action got confused. What happened to the thong-th-thong-thong-thong? they all thought, I don’t want to see some dude’s pecs!

“How about any guys with great butts?” called out the DJ as the situation deteriorated. Then a lightbulb went off in the DJ’s head, “How about women who think they are hot!!!” The same thong clad women got back on stage. “Nevermind,” said the DJ as he wisely turned up the volume of the music. The men stampeded off the dance floor, back to the safety of their drinks.

During this whole situation, Frank and I were cajoling eachother into going on stage. “Frank, you have a hot butt! You go!” Heh.

So as I continued to down the drinks, I got fiesty. “Dor? Michelle?” I said, “Let’s go DANCING!!!”

The three foxiest women on the dance floor really cut a rug. We were cutting SUCH a rug, we decided to get on the stage thing. “I wanna be a COWboy BABY!” we sang as we lassoed the air. I looked back at our table where my boyfriend adoringly watched as he did shots and drank beer. I waved and then seductively (sort of) gestured to him to join me on stage. Making his way across the crowded dance floor, he hopped on stage.

A firm hand appeared out of nowhere, stopping Frank in his tracks. “Excuse me, sir. Ladies only on the stage.” Casting a longing look at me, Frank was escorted from the stage. Hee hee.

It turned out to be okay because the next song sucked and we returned to the table. So that was about it for our evening. Anthony and Frank drank some more, Erik and Frank did another shot of Jack and we headed out into the wild night air.

I was the DD (my massive drinking was actually diet coke…). That’s about it!

The End.

Love,

Em

After getting past my massive sinus headache this morning, Jamie and I did a little “shoppy shoppy” today! We done good. Jamie bought some great transition pieces into the summer for SUPER cheap. I got two skirts that originally retailed at $90/each for $20/each. But here’s the thing. There is a beautiful summer dress that I loved. It was floral and a dark pinkish red and it had a BOW on the side!! Who doesn’t love that? Unfortunately this baby isn’t on sale yet. It’s $88. Do I risk waiting for it go on sale, only to not be able to get it in my size… or do I snatch it up and wear it all summer long??

See, that’s the thing with shopping. You just don’t know. You want to get the best deal and save some mad cash. But at the same time, there is this amazing game going on between you and the seller.

How it goes:

Me: “I like what you got, Mr. JCrew Man.”

JCREW: “Baby, I know. I know.”

Me: “But I don’t like it so much. I don’t like it $88’s worth. I like it about $40’s worth.”

JCREW: “You can’t get a hot piece of dress like this just anywhere. This is one hot dress. Feel it. Yeah, that’s right. You want it.”

Me: “You know, GAP has something like it… much cheaper… more colors…”

JCREW: “Baby, why you gotta talk like that? Don’t leave me…”

Me: “I’m just sayin’… My money goes a little further over there… unless…”

JCREW: “Oh, Emily, Please, play nice. What can I do?? Just say the word!”

Me: “How about you come down on the price a little bit? Just 40%… you have mad-crazy margins.”

JCREW: “It is a pretty dress you know. Makes you look 10 lbs thinner.”

Me: “10?”

JCREW: “Maybe 15.”

Me: “30%”

JCREW:”20%–”

Me:”DONE!”

But see, the reality of this is that JCrew has a plan. They are going to put stuff on sale when they sell a certain amount or by a certain date. They have no idea who I am and are not interested in playing “let’s make a deal”. But sometimes, when it’s dark and I am lonely, I pretend that they would negotiate. And I smile.

Everyone, have a safe and happy Saturday night!

Love,

Me

Just so you all know–I’m going home at a reasonable hour tonight!!! ROCK ON!