Life

the need for connection

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This week I went to the Gifted to Lead conference with one of my dearest friends, V. The conference addressed women in leadership specifically. It was impressive to be in a room of 1,000 women who were leaders in their communities and churches in one way or another. The Nancies did most of the talking (Ortberg & Beach), but they also brought forth a panel of women in leadership that were at different stages of their lives. Key things I leared:

1. Being a woman and being a leader are not mutually exclusive. God did not make a mistake when He gave specific women the gift of leadership, just like He did not make a mistake when He gave specific men the gift of leadership.

2. The question is not, “How can I be a women and a leader?” but rather “How can I be an excellent leader?”

3. There are so many women who are leaders and who have been absolutely hurt by their churches, their families, and their communities. Some of the stories I heard around our table were heart breaking. One woman was a Children’s minister at her church. Her church had a council of leaders that represented the ministry groups. This council was not exclusively male, but they hadn’t had a woman on the council. Instead of asking her and risking the questions from the congregation, they invited her husband and told him he was only there because of his wife’s leadership in ministry. The husband was devastated because he was not adequate to be a leader on his own ability and giftedness and the wife was devastated because she was not chosen because she was a woman. They struggled in their marriage as a result.

4. I am so blessed. The industry I work in is made of many women. It is not groundbreaking for me to be promoted or another woman to lead the department or run the agency. My husband is so supportive and excited. He is awesome encourager and cheerleader. And, he is also very gifted as a leader and doesn’t feel threatened. It’s cool to be a part of team K!

5. To be a good parent is to be who God made you to be. I loved that. I have stressed a lot about being a stay-at-home mom vs. working vs. part time vs. full time vs. not having kids. Oh gosh, the anxiety is endless on this particular topic. Nearly all of the women on the panel were married and nearly all of them had children. It was comforting to hear them say that it is a greater injustice to raise children who witness you not living up to the call God put on your life vs. raising children who see their mommy and daddy doing what God made them to do. And some women are fabulous SAHM. And some women just cannot be a SAHM. That is something that we each need to discern and determine. Is it easy to do either? No.

6. Tribes. Women need to stick together. ’nuff said.

I think that’s all for now!

a sudden right turn.

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oh. my. goodness.

the one i really really wanted called. i’ve worked on this one for a long time, but was resigned that it wasn’t the one.

but now it’s back on the table.

and here is where we take a sudden right turn. or left. regardless… a change of course, possibly.

here. we. go.

again.

I pray that whatever happens, it is according to God’s will.

atl to mdw or mke

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Another weekend has gone by too quickly. FK and I spent the weekend in lovely ATL. I got in around 7:30 on Friday night. We ate some cereal for dinner and saw Hancock with a friend and then went to drinks afterward. We didn’t get home and into bed until 1:30 a.m. and then I slept until somewhere around 11 a.m. Oh boy.

We lounged, napped, watched Arrested Development and then met up with some friends at this wonderful little pizzeria called Grand Central Pizza. Yum! We probably ate more than we should, but it was worth it for their pizza. Then we came home and watched The Other Boleyn Sister or girl, I’m not sure. It was good to see Natalie Portman in something where she does more than change costumes and look mopey (see Star Wars).

The big decision tonight is to determine which airport I will be flying into tomorrow. It looks like AT oversold a bunch of flights and so instead of lovely MKE, I will be due into MDW. Fun times!

I like visiting FK in ATL because we get a lot of time to just hang out. We don’t have a whole lot to do, other than wait for a phone call for FK to go flying. As a result, we get to really enjoy eachother’s company without much of a care in the world. It’s interesting to see how, even in things that I sometimes don’t very much like, God blesses us. He is good, all the time.

richness

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I was thinking this afternoon/evening – what is the purpose of my blog? Why do I do it? Why do I try to make it about posting about the Bible and fail? Why do I try making it about posting about mundane life details and fail?

I realized, listening to the radio, that it has been a long time since I listened obsessively to a song. Music used to transport me to other times in my life or made what I was experiencing more full, more rich. And now, it’s a cute song with a funny lyric or a great sound, but nothing else. Sort of hollow. Even sitting here, typing, I’m not sure what to write because the words are pre-judged and wrecked before they even reach the screen. And I wonder why that is? Have I worked so hard to get the “stuff” done in life that I lost touch with the reflective, pensive side of life? Is it too hard to think of the things that have gone on?

It’s no secret that FK and I have had quite the year. Just a little over a year ago, my dad got very sick. And life was turned upside down. And FK lost his job. And started a new one halfway across the country. And now he might lose this job, too. None of this is of anyone’s doing. It’s all things that have happened to us. Maybe we could have reacted better, faster, quicker, blah. It’s all hindsight, anyway.

So here we are, stuck in this moment, this now. Every step we take feels thick with outcome. Will we have children? Will we move? Where will we work? What will we do? Who are we becoming?

And then I think back to stupid NPR. God sometimes talks to me through NPR (not kidding). I realized that I agreed with the statement that it’s not about living a successful life (generally measured by money and fame and glory) but rather a significant life. And what’s funny about the significance I mean to seek is that it is marked by the glory God is given as a result and not what is given to me. When you seek to have your life measured by those standards, it changes how you approach living.

I think a lot about how human I am. I make mistakes, I fall short of the glory. I fall short of others’ expectations, I fall short of standards. I make big mistakes, even if I meant not to. I make little mistakes, when I meant to do big greatness.

For the first time in a while, there is a song that I listen to daily. At first I thought it was so interesting that this song existed in the secular world because really – people who aren’t familiar with the Bible won’t really get the meaning of the words or the Biblical stories they are referring to. The song is Hallelujah by Kate Voegele. And funny enough, I just was reading Esther in the OT of the Bible and I thought it was interesting that it is a book that doesn’t mention faith much – but infers it throughout. I wonder if these themes are God saying to me how important it is to live in the world as a person of faith? And if so, it just reminds me of how important it is for me to do what God made me to do and how that is an important part of worshipping Him.

My dear friend VW told us that Christians would mark places where signficant things happened so that they would always remember what God had done in their lives. Maybe that’s the importance of having a blog: to mark these moments in my life. Hopefully by marking these moments, that gives God glory. And hopefully it’s these marked moments that will remind me of the richness of the blessings God has given me.

long time gone…

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ok, its been a long time. I am having a hard time staying committed to a blog because so much keeps changing. Interesting things that have happened over the past few months:
* FK is officially done with training and is online at AT
*I am basically undergoing a full health evaluation for a few things I put off (my bad)

And then there are a few sensitive matters that cannot be put on a blog, but that have been weighing heavily on our minds.

Anyway, on to the fun stuff. I am joining Keith and Frank on a weight loss journey. I want to lose 20 lbs by August. Let’s see if we can do it!

Welcome, 2008!!

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Well, 2008 is finally here. YAY!

2008 promises to be a big year for the K Family:
– 10 year high school reunion for both Frank and me
– 5 year anniversary of engagement AND marital bliss
– 5 year anniversary of this blog (woot woot!)
– 4 year anniversary of living in the great state of Wisconsin!

where are you Emily?

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Oh boy – I do believe I fell off of the face of the Earth. FK and I went down to the U of I to see the Fighting Illini not win against Michigan (boo!). We left early on Saturday morning and arrived in Champaign around 1 ish or so. Frank bought me my first orange Illini polo and a few stickers for his flight back. Then we went to visit his college pastor, Wayne and his wife, Janel. It was nice to see them again – it had been quite a while!

We met up with Meghan and her sister Colleen at a cafe in Urbana for some dinner and then met up with my sister, Cait and her friend Michelle before the game.

Let me just say that the game was a lot of fun because it was my first Illini football game with Frank. Even though the Illini lost, it was really neat to be there. Unfortunately, I was not in love with Big Ten Football Fans. It seems there were both sore losers and winners after the game. I’m sure the alcohol didn’t help any, either. After the game, we headed off to Bloomington – the only town with hotel vacancies!! The hotel was actually packed, so we were lucky to get a room.

Sunday we visited some of Frank’s college friends that now live in Bloomington. They are working on a church plant at ISU and it was great to catch up with them and hear how things were going.

On our way home, we stopped to visit our dear sibs – Kathryn, Dave and Karen – as well as the neice and nephew, Julia and Luke. It was really nice to spend time with them all. Yay!

So now I am home. Time for me to do my Bible study!