yeah, where to begin. maybe i have some bitterness about how caitlin decided to steel my limelight at a young age. maybe i am annoyed that she is funnier, bustier, and blonder. maybe when i am still experiencing subzero milwaukee temps in july and caitlin is soaking up the sun in st. louis, i think – why did we move north?

and maybe it is all of those things that makes me say dumb things, that only get dumber, and as i realize what i am saying i try to unsay them. and so sometimes i don’t know how to back myself out of what i meant to say, so i figure, what the hey – let’s just keep going.

which is why i am posting this: yes, i am an idiot.

i think caitlin is awesome. she is funny, smart, insightful and beautiful. she is wise and she loves jesus. she is a tulip for jesus. and she is cool.

and you think – wow – what an awesome girl – maybe she was adopted. or maybe emily was adopted. they just can’t b e blood relatives. but we are. and you may be wondering why i am groveling right now – but maybe you missed the part where i said i am an idiot. however, if i elaborate on that thought, i would be forced to relive the nightmare which was my mouth running away with me earlier this evening.

i mean, i can’t explain why someone as excellent as my sister doesn’t have a boyfriend, except with the idea that when men get around my sister, they, too, become the idiot that i am. and they say things they can’t figure out how to take back. “excuse me, no need to push me down the stairs – i can throw myself down them well enough.”

so caitlin – you’re going to find an awesome guy. he’ll be mute, but he’ll be awesome because of it.

i love you and i am so happy that you are my sister. congratulations on graduating & your new job. and just being cool. rock on.